Life — March 16, 1916 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

=AUT SCISSORS -} AUT NULLUS “How quickly some of those immi- grants assimilate our ideas and meth- ods!” “As for instance?” “Well, I asked my Italian barber if he was going home to fight and he said he wasn’t; that he had paired with an Aus- trian in the next block.” —Boston Transcript. In Darkest Alabama “Say, Alabama is a dry state, isn’t it?” “ Sure.” “Why, my dear, when I was there I saw several negroes who were intoxi- cated.” “Well, of course they can't stop the sale of that awful cotton gin entirely.” —Cornell Widow. “What is the scope of a submarine’s greatest activity?” “T guess it's the periscope.” —Baltimore American. ‘At the meeting of the Afro-American Debating Club the question of capital punishment for murder occupied the at- tention of the orators for the evening. One speaker had a great deal to say about the sanity of persons who thus took the law into their own hands. The last speaker, however, after a stirring ha- rangue, concluded with great feelin “ Ah disagrees wif cap'tal punishment an’ all dis heah talk "bout sanity. Any pus- son ‘at c’mits murdeh ain't in a sanitary e'ndition."—Argonaut, Sufficient Reason “Why do you write articles on how cheaply people can live if they try?” “In the hope of getting enough money to avoid having to live that way.” —Southward-Ho! “Waar profession do you think your boy Josh will choose?” “Law,” replied Farmer Corntossel. Nervous Passenger: THIS BASKET DOESN'T SEEM VERY STRONG. Balloonist: of, WELL, IF IT FALLS OUT ULL GET ANOTHER BASKET. “Josh kin talk louder an’ longer when THES BOTIOM OP. he’s got the wrong side of an argument than anybody I ever heard.” —Washington Star, Live is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions. "$5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 & years to Canada, s2,centa, Single cur- rent copies, to cents. Back numbers, after t! 25_cents. issues prior to 1910 out of ‘print. ree months from date of publication, The text and illustrations tm Lirt arg copsrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britein on E . opply to Live, Rolls House, Breams Bui ings, Fetter Lane, Lon Live is for sale by all newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from book: sellers in all the principal cities in the world. The foreign trade supplied from Live's London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, London, E. C. No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. Live. does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of unto licited contributions. Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. The enthusiasm for France inspired “by Lafayette is reinspired by Verrier, SPARKLING MONG the things which Nature perfects and Man cannot “improve,” such as the rainbow, the perfume of flowers, or the laughter of a child, we place the sparkling Perrier Water. The inimitable brilliance and quality of Perrier are entirely natural. There is no saltiness in Pertier, the great reason why it combines so perfectly with Wines and Spirits. Obtainable at oll high-class Hotels, Restaurants, and Grocers Perrier, Lro. SIS Li Bide. Gor. Broadway & 424 St, New York Perrier TABLE WATER For ahigh-class High- ball—say PERRILK, Bubbling with its own carbonic gas. —on March 28th The Theatre Magazine for APRIL—the magnificent SHAKESPEARE NUMBER —will be on sale. Printed on special heavy paper, the April ue will contain many valuable articles and illustrations relative to the life of the world’s greatest poet and playwright. Mr. Horace Howard Furness Jr. will write on the gloves of Shakespeare— 1610-1916 his closest personal relics—which are in his possession. Other contributors are Mr. Charles Rann Kennedy, author of “The Servant in the House, Mr. William Winter, the veteran critic, Froliasor Brander Matthews of Columbia University, Robert Mantell and Percy MacKaye. The Theatre Magazine has gathered from all over the world, rare engravings and old wood-cuts, pertaining to the intimate and public life of Shakespeare. Six full page engravings of scenes in his plays from the famous Boydell collection. Edith Wynne Matthison has posed for the cover a special picture of “ Rosalind "’ in*” As You Like lt.’* The Theatre Magazine We will be glad to send mesled eee a ey eda 0 bein h tthe ude, We will bil you Amelie for it or you an send vs your check i you preter. comicbooks.com