Life — March 2, 1916 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Chorus of Husbands: Now, Greetings to America H, this beautiful country! It is like a great pie filled with rich filling. Never such a pie! God is good: we are his people. He has brought us here. And this is our pie. Come on! He Came to His Own A MOVEMENT to keep children away from zoological gardens having been inaugurated by a person who had hitherto been noted for his good sense, an outcry arose that at last he had suggested something su- premely foolish, His critics even went so far as to declare that there was an educational value to the sight of an- imals locked up in a cage, and that children should not be deprived of the privilege of seeing in captivity all those who excited curiosity by their strange- ness. The man, however, was firm. “The sight of a lot of innocent an- imals, taken out of their native ele- ment, and confined in a dungeon, is not calculated to inspire children with anything but secret disgust,” he de- clared. “It is true that their curiosity is excited, but what of it? It gives them no experience, it contributes nothing to their sense of beauty; all that it really does is to harden them still further to the idea of prisons, and that man has a perfect right, it he so elect, to exercise his cruelty in any direction, merely to satisfy an abnor- mal and morbid curiosity.” At first the people were unconvinced, but it gradually dawned upon them that the man was right, and about fifty or more years after he was dead, they erected a statue to him, which declared that he had introduced progressive ideas into our treatment of others— something that had not occurred for hundreds of years. Don’t Bottle Punch Pence gibes at Wilson, and the London Chronicle reproves it. Tut, tut! Let Punch relieve its feel- ings. These are war-times, and every- body ought to get what’s coming to him, TOGETHER, FELLOWS ! The U. of P. Designs a Shock- Absorber NDER the new rules of the Uni- versity of Pennsylvania, adopted after the Scott Nearing experience, no professor or assistant professor can be removed by the Board of Trustees ex- cept after a conference between repre- sentatives of each of the faculties of the University and an equal number of trustees. The conference reports to the Board, and then the Board may act. Such rules would not have insured the retention of Dr. Nearing, but they might have lessened the reverberations of his departure. When dropping a gardener it is best not to drop him through the roof of the conservatory. While its hand is in, the U. of P. ought to devise rules to govern future invasions of Belgium. The way the Germans did it involved altogether too much shock to public feelings. OLUMBIA is always personified as a woman. Perhaps that is the reason she has been so long “ getting ready.” comicbooks.com