Life — March 2, 1916 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Inventions to Expect 'O. 480,311. Skirt with adjustable waist-line for persons who can't afford a new waist-line every time the style changes. Skirt is constructed like a window-shade. When fully extended, the waist-line is under the arms and the. bottom of the skirt is half an inch from the floor. When closed, the waist-line is around the hips and the bottom of the skirt is all up in the air. Very clever. No. 489,319. Combination thumb-ring siphon and vanity- case reservoir for women who are not adept at drinking cocktails. When a cocktail is lifted to the lips, the thumb- ring is carelessly allowed to come in contact with the liquid. The liquid runs into the ring, along a bracelet-tube and into the vanity-case. In this way any woman can absorb eighteen or twenty cocktails at a single tea-dance, get a rep- utation as a good sport, and be admitted to the most ex- clusive social circles without running the risk of delirium tremens. The cocktails may be taken home and fed to the husband or the pet Pomeranian. A blessing to everyone concerned. No. 490,101. Cocaine dancing slippers for women gad- ders. These slippers are lined with cloth which has been impregnated with cocaine. Five minutes after donning them, the fect become numb. They enable the wearer to attend dances without the usual agony entailed by having several 185-pound satyrs with stiff joints dance briskly on her feet. They also enable her to attend bargain sales and plough through the ranks of her rivals without caring how many of them kick her feet vindictively. A boon to wom- ankind, No. 492,373. Portable tool-chest for women who wish to be perfectly de rigeur. Built like a baby-carriage, and may be hauled at the end of a dog leash if the sidewalks are not too rough. Contains three shades of kalsomine, seven sizes of wrinkle-eradicators, a dozen sheets of sand- paper to use on fingernails or to strap on inside of knees to imitate silk, eyelash emphasizer, eyebrow outliner, handy corset repair kit, four bottles of hair-tints (most fashion- able colors), and other useful articles. Take it to dances with you and keep abreast of the shifts in fashion. Invent a few shifts of your own. No. 492,374. Purse-producer for women travelers. Gray suede purse attached by silk cord to specially constructed stocking. Cord runs through decorative eyelets. When in use, the purse is produced by inserting umbrella handle through ankle-high loop in cord and pulling steadily. This pulls the purse out of the stocking and brings it down to the boot-tops, where it may be opened without embarrass- ment. Get it back any way you can. K. L. Roberts. EE DR. JEKYL AND MR. HYDELEBURG A Great Discovery THE politeness of the Germans on the Appam to their British captives comes to notice with an agreeable shock. ' The captives were well treated, appreciated it, and said so freely. Not for nothing have the Germans been a year and a half at war. They have made a great discovery. They have discovered Public Opinion. Thoroughness T is possible to be too thorough. Perhaps if Rome had not destroyed Carthage the com- petition of that lively town would have kept the Roman muscle up against the cunning of Alaric and Attila. comicbooks.com