Life, 1916-02-24 · page 39 of 48
Life — February 24, 1916 — page 39: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising** interspersed with brief satirical commentary. The main content includes: **"Song"** — A humorous monologue from an American naval vessel (dreadnaught) bragging about maintaining slow speeds (22 knots) while criticizing faster foreign warships from England, Germany, France, Japan, and Russia as "disgracefully immoral." This appears to satirize American naval policy or Secretary of the Navy Josephus Daniels' approach to fleet management during the pre-WWI era. **"Beyond Wonder"** — A brief editorial complaint about Ellis Island's "melting pot" failing to assimilate immigrants properly, noting concern when "adopted children" support bombing powder plants and passenger ships—likely referencing radical immigrant anarchists or saboteurs active during this period. **Advertisements** dominate: Whiting-Adams Brushes, National Floral Corporation, and a **Colt Firearms ad** featuring a bank messenger describing a robbery, emphasizing gun safety. The page reflects early 20th-century anxieties about naval competition, immigration assimilation, and domestic violence/radical activity.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Song AM an unsuper-dreadnaught. My habitat is the American fleet. That's where I belong. My principal occupation is lolling around, Everybody likes me. Josephus is crazy about me. I am the exception to the general rule. Everybody else in America is exceeding the speed limit. I don’t be- lieve in that sort of thing. I am trying to set a different exam- ple to my people. Me for the slow, easy-going life. About twenty-two knots is my jog. Others may go faster—the disgrace- fully immoral ships of England, Ger- many, France, Japan, Russia and others. But I think their pace is perfectly dreadful. Makes my turrets swim to think of it. You will always know where to find ME. Beyond Wonder I" might be a good idea to close down Mis Island for a few years while we investigate the efficiency of our melting pot. It hasn’t been working well for some time. Much of its out- put, especially the part that we had be- “A Fast Brush for the Ponies” Several Million Persons in the United States are continually using WHITING-ADAMS BRUSHES Their use insures Economy of Cost and Perfect Results Send for Illustrated Literature Manufactured by JOHN L. WHITING-J. J. ADAMS CO. BOSTON, U.S. A. Brush Manufacturersfor over One Hundred Years Whiting Adame Rrvohen Awarded Oold Maal, the highewtaward ranama Pacific Expontion. 1 FRESH FLOWERS TO ANYWHERE Distance is dead. Fresh cut flowers not 24 oun old ot local prices delivered anywhere in the U. S. Send remittance stating selection Sts satisfaction guaranteed; estimates and booklets sent oa request. National Floral Corporati a, 220 Broadway, N.Y. THE ARM 7 OF LAW AND ORDER Red Have fade this trip to the bank - every week for years-never ha@i] any trouble before -but believe ni Officer, Tim lad Iwas ready for it when it did come” “You. Cant forget to make a Colt safe” Cours PATENT FIRE ‘ARMS M Mre Co. HARTFORD, CONN. gun to brag about, is showing symp- toms of improper fusion. When several millions of our adopted children applaud, openly or tacitly, the blowing up of powder plants and the placing of bombs on passenger ships, it is time for the rest of us to do more than wonder what will happen next. 'HE editor doesn’t care who censors the military despatches so long as he can write the headlines. Write for free booklet, “How to Shoot,and Catalog No. 6 Draw - Poker Things You Want to Know About Poker The WINNING PLAY for Jack-Pots By WILLIAM HOFFMAN (uajor, U.S. A, Retired) Second Edition Pablished by GEO. ROUTLEDGE & SONS, Leadon, England For sale by ARMY @® NAVY REGISTER Box 1521, Washington, D.C. Price, $1.25, Postpaid comicbooks.com