Life — February 3, 1916 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Philanthropic Oyster CCORDING to a circular recently issued by the Bureau of Fisheries at Washington, the oyster is the only article of diet that has not increased in price during the last decade. Oysters are cheaper now than they ever were before. While a large band of voracious humans has been sitting in res- taurants day and night secking to exterminate the oyster, this hard-working bivalve has been gather- ing himself together and working overtime to multi- ply. He has won. He could muster in an army of several millions, all fitted up, composed of veterans, without calling out the reserves. Of all the workers in any field, it will surprise many to learn that the oyster is the most industrious. The daily food of the oyster is diatoms, micro- scopic plants which even the oyster can scarcely see without the aid of spectacles, These diatoms come in the water around the oyster, and in order to reach them he is obliged to filter, during the day, about twenty-five or thirty quarts of water through his lem. Arising at the first touch of the alarm in the morning, he springs out of his bed, and, with a smiling morning face, starts out after the nimble diatom. Some oysters up near New England do not eat their diatoms as they come, but save them up until they get a square meal, and then sit down in front of their friends and eat, just to make others feel badly. Oysters are also fond of marine salad, which is about the same as land salad ; that is to say, all the left-overs that come the way of the oyster during the day are tastefully arranged on a plate and placed before the oyster. If he really knew what was in it he would probably stick to diatoms. Will Marshall Run Again? HE Washington correspondent of the Springfield Republican reports interest at the capital in whether Vice-President Marshall will be renominated. Certainly not! When a gentleman of Mr. Mar- shall’s ability and earning capacity, the ornament and pride of a large State, has bestowed four years of his life in a solid chunk on the vice-presidency, he has fulfilled his entire duty to that office, and no further sacrifice in that line should be expected of him. Besides, it is not the fashion any more for Vice- Presidents to serve two terms. The last one to do it was John C. Calhoun, back in the eighteen-thirties. Besides, Indiana is entitled to have Mr. and Mrs. Marshall back home again, and they have made money in the lecture business while in office, and can afford to go back. Besides, why imperil the ticket? To England HAT secret witch profound as Lucifer Prepared the hemlock and the poppy juice That thou bast drunk of in this flaming hour? What poison could be swift and strong enough To flood thus madly thro’ thy Titan's veins, Defeating all their godlike majesty ? Spirit of England! By thy golden past, By all those generous, soul-filling names The world has ta’en of thee—Elizabeth, Shakespeare, Victoria—break from thy slecp, Cast off the fiend’s enchantment—thou, O Heart, Who hurled the vast Armada from the seas, Thou who destroyed Napoleon thus bound To some mad lethargy—thou still and dumb While all thy hero-sons take futile death To praise that Glory that they cannot wake! Spirit of England! By the waiting world, By gleaming France miraculously young, By Russia's stirring millions, Belgium's woe, By the Italian armies sweeping on Athwart the Alpine snows, by Faith and Peace, By all we pray to die for—snap this spell Of thy oblivion—arise and save! Leolyn Louise Everett, The Most Daring HE afternoon tea was in progress. Music pul- sated on the a lights labored to shine through opaque or colored globes. The place was crowded, with women predominating. A dance was in prog- ress. Finally she appeared. There was nothing especially remarkable about her. She was armed neither by magnificence nor a defiant manner. She was unassuming. Her manner of presenting herself was somewhat timid. And yet her appearance created consternation. The music ceased; the dancers stopped short; two women fainted; several men grabbed decanters and drank hurriedly ; the proprietor rushed forward in alarm as to her sanity. There was an uproar—a policeman was called, She had appeared without one piece of fur on her costume. C. Vere Tyler. ROPRIETOR of small hotel (to negro applicant for position as chef): Can you read? Aprticant: Well, dat cert’nly is a cur’ous question in dese hyar days of en- lightenment. LOVE WILL FIND A WAY Comicbooks.com