Life, 1916-01-13 · page 34 of 44
Life — January 13, 1916 — page 34: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous pieces typical of Life's satirical format: **"Aut Scissors Aut Nullus"** satirizes government "Preparedness" revenue schemes by suggesting absurd new taxes—on poetic licenses, friendship bonds, and invented excuses. **"Hoodooed"** is a dialect joke about a Black man who has repeatedly lost family members to disasters (Titanic, then a flood), suggesting he's cursed with misfortune. **"The Better Way"** features industrialist Charles M. Schwab crediting his success to hard work rather than luck—a "bootstraps" narrative common to the era. **"Basket Bawl"** (illustration) appears to show a baby in a basket, likely commenting on infant care or domestic life. The remaining anecdotes—about poker players, a farmer's pig, and a baby's smile—are gentle, conventional humor with no apparent political content. The page is primarily **humorous sketches and short jokes** rather than pointed political satire, reflecting Life's mixed entertainment and commentary approach circa 1910s.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LA Canai foreign cent copies 25 cents. The text and illustrations in Lire. a Britain apply to Lire, 119 Southampton R. vais 2% SSAUT SCISSORS For “ Preparedness” Revenue Charge fee for poetic licenses. Put a land tax on our lot in life, Revenue stamp to be placed on bonds of friendship. Ditto on deeds of iniquity and stocks of information. When excuses are invented compel the inventors to patent them and pay regular fee—Boston Transcript. Hoodooed Appealing to a lady for aid, an old darky told her that through the Dayton flood he had lost everything he had in the world, including his wife and six children: “Why,” said the lady, “I have seen you before and I have helped you. Were you not the colored man who told me you had lost your wife and six children by the sinking of the Titanic?” “Yeth, ma'am, dat wuz me. Mos’ un- fort'nit man dat eber wuz. Kaint keep a fam'ly nohow.”—San Froncisco Argonaut. Good Advice Crercyaan (to tattered hobo): “In- stead of spending your life wandering about the countryside and sleeping under hedges, why can not you act like a man and go out and fight for your hearth and home ? "“—Punch, Live is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, d advance. jountries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a year; to Canada, $2 months and British Possessions. $5.00 a year Back numbers, 10 cents, fter three prior to 1910 out of print. copyrighted. London, from date of publication, For, Reprint Rights in Great WoC. BASKET BAWL “Wuex a man does anything well he ought to get credit for it,” remarked the generous-minded man. “Not always,” replied Bronco Bob. “Me an’ Pinte Pete got the reputation of bein’ such good poker players that it completely spoiled business.” —Washington Star. jitional postage to cents. Single cur- envelope. licited contributions. No contribution will The Better Way Charles M. Schwab, congratulated in Pittsburgh on a large war order contract which he had just received from one of the warring nations, said: “Some people call it luck, but they are mistaken. Whatever success I have is due to hard work and not to luck. “I remember a New York business man who crossed the ocean with me one winter when the whole country was suf- fering from hard times. And’ you, Mr. Schwab,’ the New Yorker said, ‘are, like the rest of us, I se, hoping for better things?’ 'o, my friend,’ I replied. ‘No, I am not hoping for better things. I've got my sleeves rolled up and I'm working for Philadelphia Bulletin, Associations A few days after a farmer had sold a pig to a neighbor, he chanced to pass his place and saw his little boy sitting on the edge of the pig pen, watching its new occupant. “How d'ye do, Johnny?” said he. “ How's your pig to-day?” “Oh, pretty well, thank you,” replied the boy. “How's all your folks?” Harpers; Promising “Every time the baby looks into my face he smiles,” said Mr. Meckins, “Well,” answered his wife, “it may not be exactly polite, but it shows he has a sense of humor."—Pacific Unitarian. Lire is for sale by all newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from book- sellers in all the principal cities in the world. Live's London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, be returned unless accompanied by Lire does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of unim C Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. ULTIVATING a taste for good reading is as much a part of a young lady’s education as the study of her text-books. It sup- plements and broadens her desire for knowledge. The announcements of the best schools can be found in Scribner's Magazine every month. If detailed information is desired, address School and le Service Departm: ent Scribner Building, Fifth Avenue Room 710 - - Netw York The foreign trade supplied {roc ped and addressed