Life, 1915-12-02 · page 70 of 100
Life — December 2, 1915 — page 70: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This 1910s *Life* magazine page satirizes the early automobile era and women drivers. The main story, "Perfectly Simple," mocks the confidence of a female driver teaching a nervous friend to operate a new car. The humor derives from the mechanical complexity of early automobiles—manual clutches, brake levers, spark advance controls—which the experienced driver casually explains while repeatedly forgetting crucial steps. The car lurches forward uncontrollably, nearly crashes into a fence, yet the teacher insists it's "nothing." The secondary cartoon "Them Were the Times" jokes about marriage deterioration: a husband received a book titled *A Perfect Gentleman* as an engagement gift, but now receives *Wild Animals I Have Known*—implying he's become bestial. The satire targets both female inexperience with new technology and the era's condescending attitude toward women drivers, presenting their attempts as bumbling yet amusing rather than competent.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
1098 Perfectly Simple “PRE just been dying to meet you!” The girl in the new auto hailed her passing companion. “Come, dear,” she said, “ jump right in and I'll show you how to run it; then when yours comes you'll know.” The other girl jumped in, delighted. “T'm so nervous and excited!” she exclaimed. “Who taught you?” “Charlie Smith. Really, it’s dread- fully easy. Don’t be worried. Sit right in there and grasp the steer- ing wheel firmly. Now! Are you ready?” “Yes—but will it jump?” “Certainly not. Remember that I am here by your side. First you turn on your power. Yes, that little but- ton. See that knob?” “Yes.” “Well, just joggle it. Now put one foot right there—on that pedal” “Oh! It's just like playing a piano.” “And the other foot press down— there—don’t be afraid. It won't go off.” “Oh, it’s beginning to go!” “Silly! That's only the—the thing- amagig! Now grasp the wheel firmly and press down on the pedal. No— that’s the wrong one. Dear me! Is it the right one or left? You know, I can tell when I'm sitting there—" “Will it do anything if—” “Nonsense! Now, dear, don’t get excited. You've got to throw out all the cylinders first. This knob does that. What is it called? Let me think. President }=Wilson—war—oh, yes! It’s in neutral. Charlie says nothing can happen when it is in neu- tral. Now, are you ready?” (Faintly) “1 think I am.” THE FIRST CHRISTMAS “Press down with your left foot. If that isn’t right we'll try the other. Now! I'll push neutral out. Don’t move your foot.” “Must I hold on?” “Yes, yes! Now easy—wait a minute. Don’t move. Dear me! There's something I know I've for- gotten. Charlie wrote it out on a card.” (Companion hanging onto wheel for dear life, with her foot jamming down the clutch.) “Oh, yes! Here it is. Release the brake. Ah! Now, dear, I'll push in on this. Ready?” (Companion suddenly removes foot, and car jumps forward like a catapult for an instant and then half stops and Jerks along.) “What have I done?” “Nothing, dear. Don’t be alarmed.” “But it’s going! (Wildly.) What shall I do?” “Let's see. Oh, dear!” (Suddenly remembers the accelerator, which she moves up.) “ Quick! way!” (The teacher, pale with fright, man- ages to turn off the switch. Car stops with its nose in a fence.) “Of course, at first——” “T know I'll never learn!” “Nonsense! My dear, it’s nothing. Charlie Smith taught me in only one lesson.” I'm going the wrong “Them Were the Times” “I AST Christmas, before their mar- riage, she gave him a book en- titled ‘A Perfect Gentleman.’” “Well?” “This Christmas she intends giving him ‘Wild Animals I Have Known.” “ MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT”