Life, 1915-08-19 · page 9 of 48
Life — August 19, 1915 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a narrative fiction piece, not political satire. The illustration shows a couple in a horse-drawn wagon labeled "A 'JAW RIDE'" on a country road. The story depicts a young bridegroom who has delayed his marriage to pursue education under Professor Von Chester and Madam Stellarina, studying "mind and body control" and spiritualism. He writes to his fiancée explaining his absence and outlining domestic duties she must master during their engagement—washing the motor car, managing servants, and handling household finances. The satire gently mocks the pretentious self-improvement culture and the groom's patronizing expectations that his bride-to-be serve as an unpaid household manager while he pursues self-development. The "jaw ride" title likely references the jawing (talking/complaining) that results from these demanding conditions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Slight Delay BRING to you a wonderful heritage!” The young lover, his face suffused with joy, gazed earnestly into the eyes of the beautiful creature from whom he had been absent so many months. “Yes, darling,” he continued, “I made up my mind that, in order to make our marriage a complete success, it was my duty to fit myself in every way possible to fulfill the enormous responsibilities of a husband. During the last six months, when I have vol- untarily absented myself from your side, I have taken Professor Von Chester’s » complete course in deep breathing, I have studied and almost learned by heart Professor Glassy- stare’s wonderful masterpiece on the control of mind and body, and under A “JAW RIDE” the guidance of Madam Stellarina Pearltop I have acquired such rhythmic and spiritual harmony as can only be obtained through a complete mastery of her special elect series to inner students. My darling, I come to you fully equipped. It is for you to set the wedding day and our place of residence.” The beautiful girl who had been listening so intently replied with a bright smile: “TI, too, George dear, have not been idla During your absence I have ar- ranged for us to live in the suburbs. It will be your duty to wash and dress our motor car every morning, feed the furnace in winter, plant the Agricultural Department seeds in the spring, cut the grass in summer, hire and discharge all the servants, answer the ‘phone, escort me on winter eve- nings to the woman's club meetings, carry all the bundles, fill in at bridge when necessary, mend all the plumb- ing, feed the Airedale, clean my golf clubs and my buckskin shoes, and do any other little thing which your conscience dictates or I may suggest.” “But, darling, you didn’t tell me we were going to live in the suburbs.” “No I have only recently come to that decision. Where are you going?” And her harmonic husband-to-be replied, with a rhythmic sigh: “Darling, I will return in a few days, I am going to visit Professors Von Chester and Glassystare and Madam Pearltop and see if, in view of our future, I cannot persuade them to give me my money back.” comicbooks.com