Life — July 22, 1915 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ZBNT SCISSORS AUT NULLUS No Head Dress A prominent New York business man, who declines the use of his name for reasons most obvious, is telling this one on his wife: On his return from a long tour of the West this business man's wife was narrating to, him the delightful times she had while he was away. “One night I was invited to a dinner party at a smart café,” she said, “and one of the guests was the Turkish Am- bassador. He was well informed on every subject and was one of the most entertaining dinner’ companions... ever knew, “Did husband, “No, indeed!” she replied. “ He was clean-shaved.”"—Saturday Evening Post. he wear a fez?” asked the “Don’t any of your friends come to sce you on visiting days?” asked the kindly old lady. No'm,” responded No “they're all here wit” me. —Buffalo Express. 777.4443 AMONG THE MISSING For the Ultra Precise The late Prof. Thomas R. Lounsbury said at Cambridge in a talk on English: “ But precision can be carried too far. The ultra precise, even when logically right, are really wrong. “An ultra-precise professor went into a hardware shop and said: “*Show me a shears, please.” “*You mean a pair of shears, don't you?’ said the dealer. < “*No,’ said the professor. what I say. I mean a shears.’ “ The dealer took down a box of shears. “*Look here, professor,’ he said. ‘Aren't there two blades here? And don’t two make a pair?’ “Well, you've got two legs. Does that make you a pair of men?’ And the professor smiled at the dealer trium- phantly through his spectacles. “He was logically right, but, really, he was wrong."—Philadelphia Bulletin ‘IT mean Signs “How do you know that Blinks has had a raise in salary?” “He argues that the world is getting better, that the danger from monopolies has been greatly magnified, and that hu- man nature isn’t so bad after all. —Philadelphia Public Ledger, Live. is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions, "$5.00 a year in advance dit ostage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a years to Canada, Siecoa, Sings cor rent copies, 10 cents. Back numbers, after three months from date of publication, 25_cents, Issues prior to 1910 out of print. The text and ilustrotions. im Live. are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain apply to Lire, 114 Southompton Row, London, W. art is for sale by all newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from hock sellers in all the principal cities in, the world. | The foreign trade, supplied frea Livx's London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildin ndon, E. No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by Monje “and addressed envelope. Live does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of wnse licited. contributions. Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. THE AUGUST CENTURY.» Beginning DEAR ENEMY A Love Story By JEAN WEBSTER Author of “ Daddy-Long-Legs” Gast a word: The July Century sold out in one week. Buy your August number today) Just the Thing for the Hot Weather SUBSCRIBE TO LIFE now and make the rest of your summer a real success Besides our special Trial Offer of three months for $1 (Cana- dian $1.13, Foreign $1.26) open only to new names, subscrip- tions may be entered now for six months or nine months, and the address changed in the fall to the boy or girl at college. Subscribe now and be sure of having it, an hour's good fun every week. $6.04 3.02 4.53 $5.52 2.76 bas 4.14 “ LIFE 17 WEST 3ist STREET, NEW YORK One Year $5.00 Six Months 250 Nine “ 375 Canadian Foreign comicbooks.com