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Life, 1915-07-15 · page 32 of 48

Life — July 15, 1915 — page 32: what you’re looking at

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Life — July 15, 1915 — page 32: Life, 1915-07-15

What you’re looking at

This page contains two distinct pieces of satire: **"Interviews With Dead Celebrities"** presents a fictionalized conversation between the author and **Cleopatra**. The satire mocks both historical revisionism and modern affectations—Cleopatra insists her death-by-asp story is exaggerated, complains about being called "madam," and uses contemporary slang ("You make me so tired!"). The joke exposes how we mythologize historical figures while she pragmatically credits her fame to keeping men "guessing"—reducing grand history to romantic manipulation. **"Deterring Good Behavior"** critiques the conviction of **John R. Lawson**, a labor union leader, for crimes he didn't commit. The satire's bitter irony: the courts claim conviction deters bad behavior, yet Lawson was peaceful and non-violent. The real criminals—**President Welborn** of Colorado Fuel and Iron Company, who purchased machine-guns against strikers—face no prosecution. The piece exposes how "justice" punishes labor activists while protecting corporate interests.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Interviews With FLOOD of old memories came over me as I stood once more near the ancient Philz and thought of the vast historic processions that had swept along past the banks of the Nile from time immemorial—warriors, kings and queens, pageants, vassals—now but ghosts of the dim past. And among all those figures, who is there that now, after the lapse of ages, claims more of our attention than the figure of a lithe woman, incon- stant, spoiled, intensely feminine, beau- tiful and— “But I was not so beautiful as they say,” a silvery voice broke in upon my reverie, “And, then, that story of the asp and Charmion—tell them it isn’t true, will you?” I bowed respectfully. These de- nials from great people who have been misrepresented—how fast they come! “You must remember, madam—— 1 began. “Don't call me madam. I died com- paratively young. I simply refuse to be called madam. I don't know what it means, but it sounds—hor- rid “As you will, O Queen. I was about to say that while outwardly the asp story may not be correct as to certain *LIFE: Dead Celebrities details, at least it preserves the his- torical spirit, and ——” “Oh, cut it short!” Horrified, I turned and gazed at her. “Why, that is what we say to-day,” I exclaimed, “And you—use it?” “That is what has always been said since the world began,” she exclaimed petulantly, “when any one has been bored. What do you want with me? Is this a regular interview? I suppose you want my opinion on posterity, or woman suffrage, or the tango skirt. Oh, you moderns! You make me so tired!” “No, Queen Cleopatra,” I said, al- most embarrassed. “Not your opin- ions. I wanted to discover, if possible, what is the secret of your universal- ity—why it is, after the lapse of so many centuries, you continue to be among the most talked of women in the world?” She laughed. That voice! Shall I ever forget it? No wonder Antony lingered and the current of history was changed. “Guess,” she demanded. “ Come, now, it was for my many virtues.” This made us both laugh. “Guess again.” “You tell me,” I ventured boldly. Woman is a creature of so beauteous mien As to be loved needs only to be seen; Yet seen too oft, familiar with her lure, We first embrace, then pity, then endure. “If it is a secret, who can tell me bet- ter than you?” “It was because I kept Antony and a few others guessing,” she said, “and that’s no secret,” Deterring Good Behavior POLOGISTS for modern Colo- rado justice say that the con- viction of John R. Lawson, labor- union leader, is warranted because of the deterrent effect it will have. Per- haps so; but what does it deter? Everybody admits that Mr. Lawson was nowhere around when the alleged crime was committed, and, though he was in charge of the strike colony, reliable investigators assert that he is a man of gentle disposition and that he always counselled his followers against violence. If that is the case, then his conviction will tend to deter strikers in the future from being gen- tle and from using peaceable means in establishing their rights and their wishes. Furthermore, if it’s good behavior the Colorado courts are opposed to, then, of course, they will not indict President Welborn of the Colorado Fuel and Iron Company, who freely testified that he purchased machine- guns for use against the strikers. [{- comicbooks.com