Life, 1915-05-20 · page 34 of 44
Life — May 20, 1915 — page 34: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three humor pieces and advertisements from an early 20th-century Life magazine issue. **The "Aut Scissors, Aut Nullus" cartoons** present classroom humor. The first shows a teacher asking which monarch followed Edward VI; a student answers "Mary followed Edward VI" (mixing up Mary Queen of Scots with the historical succession). The second joke depicts a student answering "her little lamb" when asked who followed Mary—a pun on the nursery rhyme "Mary Had a Little Lamb." **The "Jitney" commentary** jokes about the newly popularized jitney buses (cheap public transportation), playing on the word's unusual spelling with a Latin pun. **The restaurant anecdote** satirizes working-class establishments maintaining standards by *discouraging* refined customers—the waitress deliberately withholds saucers to prevent "low-brow" patrons from drinking directly from them, thus preserving "swellest trade." **The legal joke** features a wife seeking divorce with modest alimony demands, noting she wouldn't ask for more than her husband actually makes—a dig at her low opinion of him. The page is largely advertisements for Hardman tires and Plymouth gin.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AUT Se15§°R5, ANT. NLL) Historical Miss Smith, the teacher, was hearing the history class. The pupils seemed pusually dull, “Now,” she said, “ Mary Edward VI, didn't she?” Yes, ma'am,” replied a little girl “And now, who followed Mary asked the teacher, hopefully. All was silent for a moment, then Elsie raised her hand. “Yes, Elsi qu er. “Who foliowed “Her little lamb, teacher,” said Elsie, triumphantly. —Harper's Monthly. followed d the teach- Speaking of “jitney", which scems likely to win a place in the dictionaries, can you think of any other word in our language that begins with j-it? And speaking again of “jitney", he was a witty fellow who dismissed the new transpor- tation system with the clever paraphrase, “ De jitney bus non disputandum.” —Youth'’s Companion. “om, WHAT A LOT OF FUN IE's MISSED WHO NEVER KILLED AN opTiaist!” Maintaining the Standard The social caste of customers is not commonly supposed to be regarded in quick-lunch restaurants, but a Philadel phia paper tells this story: A. fastidi- ous person made his way into a steam ing, fly-infested little restaurant. The young woman behind the counter placed a tumbler of water before him with a thump. “What's yours?” she asked sharply. “Coffee and rolls.” She set before him a mug a quarter of an inch thick and as heavy as iron filled with a brown fluid. The man seemed dazed, He looked under the mug and over it. “But where is the saucer? he asked. “We don't give no saucers here,” re plied the waitress. “If we did some low brow'd come pilin’ in and drink out of his saucer, and we'd lose a lot of our swellest trade."—Youth’s Companion, I want to sue for a divorce of fifteen hundred Cust: and an allowance dollars a y Lawy come? Cuext: It's about that. I wouldn't ask for more than the man makes. I'm not that kind.—Boston Transcript. What is your husband's in ted States, Great Brit vance. Additional postage to foreign ca ies in the Postal Unio € to Canada, s2 cents. Single cur- rent copies, 10 cents. Back numbers, after three months from date of publication, 25 cents. Issues prior to 1910 out of it The text and illustrations in Lire are copyrighted. For, Reprint Rights in Great Britain apply to Live, 114 Southampton Row, London, W.C. ~ Live is publisbed every-Thuraday, simultancously. in the U Canada itish Possession: “Sure Grip’ Tires always will be found in evidence. Extra heavy traction tread insures unusually Jong service. Guaranteed for 5,000 miles. | Investigate Hardman Tires 4 New York Office, 1904 Broadway Agencies in Boston, Philadelphia, Baltimore, St. Louis, San Francisco, Providence, Newerk, Patetionh Buffolo, Houston Sad jolhar, cities, Live is for sale by all newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from book: sellers in all the principal cities in the world, The foreign trade supplied from Lire's London Rolls House, Breams Buildings, London, E. C. No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addres envelope. Lire will not hold itself responsible for the lois or nomreturn of © licited’ contributions. . Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. Coates’ PLYMOUTH Imported Dry Gin Coates’ Plymouth Gin costs more to make than ‘any other Imported Gin but costs you no more by the drink. Why not order Coates’ Plymouth ? ALEX D[SHAW/ eco ny hefor such alwa ous