Life, 1915-04-22 · page 14 of 44
Life — April 22, 1915 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces from *Life* magazine: **"When You Propose"** presents romantic dialogue openings, mocking the overwrought language men supposedly use when proposing marriage. The humor derives from the contrast between flowery declarations and the woman's practical, skeptical responses. **"The Latest War Lexicon"** is a humorous glossary redefining military terms used during World War I (the magazine references "Easter Sunday," suggesting early 1900s). Terms like "Battle" and "Victory" are redefined cynically—a "Battle" involves massive casualties for minimal territorial gain, while a "Victory" means losing hundreds of thousands to gain two feet of ground. This satirizes the brutal futility of trench warfare. The cartoon at bottom appears to show two men discussing gossip or scandal, with one deflecting blame.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ASRS When You Propose (Complete Guide to Openers for the Use of Tactful Persons.) “T DO not wish to alarm you unnecessarily, but the fatal moment has at last arrived.” “Shall I draw my chair closer? I am afraid that what [ am now about to say to you, if overheard by others, might be the cause of vulgar comment.” “Do you remember the first day we met? Ah! How vividly it rises to my mind! Well, since then——"” “Don't be startled, but would you mind if I called you darling?” “Doesn't it seem rather warm to you? But perhaps I feel it more because I am about to perform an action which has the most momentous consequences of a life- time—for both of us!” “Do you know this is the twenty-third call I have made? I suppose we must both begin to realize that this cannot go on forever, Well, dear——” “How cold your hand is to-night!) Ha! It isn’t much like my heart, I can tell you! Speaking of hearts——” “TI hope you didn’t mind my coming so early. But the fact is, I have a terrible evening before me. That is, I mean—oh—"” Adam: WHAT! TIRED OF YOUR NEW CLOTHES ALREADY? “ Struggle as I will, I can no longer conceal from you “WELL, 1 DON'T SEE THE USE OF WEARING THEM wHen the fact that——” EASTER SUNDAY HASN'T BEEN INVENTED YET.’ “Isn't that a new rug? Oh, no! You must pardon me, but ever since we first met, nothing has looked the same to me. And now—" The Latest War Lexicon RENCH: A modern substitute for home. Orrictat Report: A system of concealing the truth. By reading all of them at once you come back to the place where you started. ReprisaL: A_ philological excuse for committing any crime. See Murder, Arson, etc. Battie: Any event in which the enemy loses one hun- dred thousand men. Victory: Any event in which from one to one hundred thousand of your own men have been killed to gain two feet of ground. Arpitration: (Obs.) Loan: Putting all your money on a killing contest. Pryasnysz: A more or less infectious disease afflict- ing war correspondents and editors, who are violently seized by an attack of it every time there is news from the front. A Little Problem IF one-third of a popular magazine be devoted to what will be published next month and one-third to what the readers say about what was published last month and one-third to advertisements, what would be the amount devoted to pure reading matter, and why? “ VARDON ME, BUT SOME ONE IS CALLING YOU, I THINK comicbooks.com