Life — April 22, 1915 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

700 His Wonderful Opportunity HE knew that he was coming. It had all been arranged beforehand over the telephone. Yet, as he rang the bell of her suburban villa, he was conscious that he was embarrassed and flustered. One does not acquire the habit of proposing every day to pretty girls. He was ushered from the bright light of day into a semi-toned room full of people. She advanced cordially and waved her hand about, introduc- ing him, : “This,” she said, with a trace of self- consciousness, “is the gentleman who is going to propose to me. Be seated, everybody, and the ceremony will proceed.” “But I can't— “Now, my dear, it’s all right. It scems embarrassing, but really, if you stop to think, it is all for the best. You see, this is our little club which meets during the season once every two weeks, of which I am the humble You needn't be awfully sentimental, you know. Just be your- self—only it must last an hour. Come now, you won't spoil it all, will you? Be nice about it. Remember my repu- tation is at stake. Every other suburb for miles around copies us.” He faced her, paralyzed with sur- prise. The audience began to ap- plaud. “What is the meaning of this?” he demanded. “Go on,” she replied.“ That's splendid. A little quarrel first will be president. TYPOGRAPHICALLY SPEAKING WHITE-FACE FIGURE AND AMERICAN OLDSTYLE “No, No, Pappy! an immense help and will lead up to the real business.” He sternly took her hand. applause. “Come,” he said, “this has gone far enough! What do you mean?” “Well, you came around to propose, didn’t you? You told me so over the "phone. You won't deny that.” “Yes, I did,” he stammered. “Then I thought I would avail myself of this splendid opportunity. You see, my dear, it's this way. Now that I've been elected president, I've simply got to get up an entertainment that will interest people. We've danced until we are sated with it. We've played bridge until we're bored, to death We've had afternoon teas and church fairs and authors’ readings and mus- icals and recitations until we are all worn out, and so, dear, when you told me you were coming around to pro- “Here’s my chance for something new. Go on, don't stop! You're going to make a hit. You've got ‘em all going! The doors are all locked! You can't get away! Win me in three-quarters of an hour, and I'm More pose, I saic YOU MUST BE NEUTRAL” Positive that when my head drops on your shoulder you'll get a rising vote of thanks! $ Sins Wanted O NE reason that the world moves along so haltingly these days is that there are not sufficient sins among us to arouse our indignation and raise our fighting blood to the proper tem- perature. The nature of man is such that he must have something to at- tack as a proper outlet for his ener- gies. Nearly all the old sins have cither been wiped out or have become respectable, and the supply of new sins has been nothing like enough to fll the demand. Surely the apostles of evil have not become so impotent and so infertile as not to be able to fill this gap before progress stops altogether. ANDALL: gloomy— he how soon he dies. Rocers: Then he ought to consult a specialist. Delaney is doesn’t very care