Life, 1915-04-15 · page 34 of 44
Life — April 15, 1915 — page 34: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous anecdotes typical of Life's satirical style: **"A Waste of Time"** mocks Mexican attitudes toward progress. A civil engineer building a railway boasts of efficiency, but a native replies that with three days saved per trip, he'd have "two days" of leisure—implying the locals see no value in productivity gains. **"His Benefactor"** presents gentle irony: a young doctor cures a wealthy spinster's chronic indigestion, then his father reveals this illness—not the cure—paid for the son's college education, suggesting the patient's ongoing ailment was financially valuable. **The Glasgow anecdote** plays on local pride and quick thinking: when a hawker needs a corkscrew, he asks "Is there a gentleman from Glasgow?" and when one responds, immediately requests to borrow his corkscrew—a jab at Scottish frugality. **"Mr. Manley"** depicts marital comedy: a husband insures himself for five thousand dollars; his wife praises his sense while warning him to be careful, implying she'd benefit from his death. The page balances these brief comedic sketches with product advertisements (Nevermind garter, Dioxogen antiseptic).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
©» Squt Scissors A Wate of Tine [ { ey : ‘KA Civil engineer, who‘ was building's — } AUT NULLus ; 7 » ¢ railway in Mexico, was trying to show 1F v4! p 5 a native how much the new railway f f b would benefit the country. Yar fo) Se RAR pi “How long does it take you to carry vn oot deed had peed iy an 44 } your produce to market at present?” he joston sch acher had real : ne: ; i Ane asked. Whittier’s “ Maud Muller” to her pupils, z yet 4 “With a mule it takes three days,” and at the close of her reading spoke of : RN te was the reply. ihe sorrel sienifeanee ol the words \ Es ee “There you are!" exclaimed the en- “Tt might have been”. She asked the i y ci “Wh way is i : : gincer. hen the new railway is i boys and girls if they could think of any 3 1 ok NS i operation you will be able to take y four sadder words, One alert youngster we: j produce to market and return home the of a dozen years held up his hand and | ae same day!" ~~ aA PA : / Very good, sefor,” was the placid “I know two sadder words.” } reply, “but what shall T do with the "What are they?” asked the teacher. f a other two days? "—Youth's Companion. “* Please remit’, js : cning Post Magazine. | t ) A Gtascow hawker was touring the Fi provinces, offering for sale his marvelous. His Benefactor 7 t ‘ < i xire-all. mixture, and one day, when After many years of long and faith- ut to uncork a bottle for his audience ance on his patients, old Dr. ail Uy, aNh to sample, he found to his disgust that cided to take a much-needed y * ) his corkscrew was missing. vacation, intrusting hts practice to. his “Ts there any gentleman in this crowd son, a recent medical graduate. Later, helongs to Glasgow?" he asked, looking when the old gentleman returned the fa i chain Y Fp, . over his audience. younger physician told him, among other Wh, ff lll “Yes, I do,” came a reply, in an un- things, that he had cured Miss Anthony, / 4 mistakably Glasgow accent. an aged and wealthy spinster, of her 5 i] ? “Then lend me your corkscrew,” was chronic indigestion 4 Ws z the quick rejoinder.—Tit-Bits. “My boy,” said the old gentleman, yj i “Tin certainly proud of you; but Miss Anthony's indigestion is what put you through college.""—Harper's Magazine. Mr. Maytey: Well, my dear, I've had my life insured for five thousand ” dollars. MOTHER, AM | REALLY THE IMAGE OF Mrs, Maxtey: Pw very sensible of Te #510. be’ fegretted what’ all those YoU, OR WAS THAT LADY THAT CALLED ON yout Now l whad’t have 1 Keep telling trenches could not be dug in a region YOU JUST TRYIN’ TO HURT MY FEELINGS?" you to be so careful every place you go. that needs irrigation.—Albany Journal. —Pathfinder. _foter is published every Thursday, simultaneously, in the United States, Great Britain, Lire is for sale by all newadealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from book and Dritish Possessions. 3 Additional sellers in all the principal cities in the world. The foreign trade supplied from Lurr's n countries in the Postal Union, $t.04 8 years la, 52 cents. - London Office, Kolls House, Breams Buildings, London, rent copics, 10 cents. ack numbers, after three months from date of publication, No contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed 25 cents. Issues prior to 1910 out of print. . _ lope. Live does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of unio E ¢ text and illustrations in Live are copyrighted, Reprint Rights in Great ted’ contributions. = Britain opply to Live, 114 Southampton Row, Londo, M Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address | For every cut, scratch or bruise— use Dioxogen first No Rubber Real Year This si Use it yourself, Teach the children to use it. Dioxogen destroys infez- in Log Band Round Comlon WS SIZE tion. Iris the one safe, non-poisonous germicide that demands a place in every home. It has its toilet uses too—as a gargle for the throat, ONE LOOK tells you why you're going TRI A I mouth and teeth, as a soothing wash for the complexion and after shav- to wear NEVERBIND. It can’t choke ing. Dioxogen is distinguished from a// other peroxides by its strength your leg—always lifts or the socks just and purity. It needs no acetanilid to preserve it, as others do. For this enough to keep them smooth ; BOT TLE. ‘ison it has none of the bitterness or odor 0 commonly associated with Bee $ 4 . ordinary peroxides of the commercial sort. Dioxogen is 99-961/1000 If you fon aS ee i a ere wet t f, percent. pure. You can get it (by name) at any drug store. ‘ "3503 sill, soe. . sen ree THE OAKLAND CHEMICAL CO., 10 Astor Place, New York double grip, 33¢ George Frost Co., Sole Makers, Boston, Macs. comicbooks.com