Life — April 8, 1915 — page 39: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

639 A Reg. U.S. Pat. On | When You Own a CRUISETTE you have the daintiest and most wonderful little craft that ever rode the water and your satis- faction is complete. Only 32 ft. long, yet she has sleeping comfort for six. Sheis seaworthy, speedy and simple—with a trimness of lines that makes you immensely proud of her. The engine having been especially designed for her there is a lack of vibration and ease of contrcl that are truly remarkable, and she is not expensive—to buy or to operate. Other ELCO Standardized Models are equally famous. ‘The 45-ft. ELCO Cruiser with its private stateroom and all the other comforts of the 60-ft. Motor Yacht. ‘The ELCO Express, with the new model ELCO Engine “Serves you on the water as the automobile does on land”—grace- fully beautiful, absolutely reliable, and with speed which we guarantee. Send for a copy of “Marine Views" and the edition de tuxe— ‘The Cruise of the Cruisette” THE ELCO COMPANY Main Office and Works 175 Avenue A, Bayonne, New Jersey New York Office, 5 Nassau Street Faly 27, 1820 My mare cast a * shoeon the way from town so I stopped at a smithy to have it set. I found a small Ino nearby and some excellent Old Overholt Rye “Same for 100 years” Its record has been above reproach for over a century. pure, enticing beverage. always uniform in quality. Its goodness is attested by its nation-wide popularity, Aged in charred oak barrels, bot- tled in bond, |] A-Overbolt & Co.,Pittsbureh, Pa, ME TROUBLE WITH FARMIN' 1S WE DON'T GIT ENOUGH RAIN” ENOUGH RAIN FALLS EP THERE WAS ANY JUDGMENT USED ABOUT 1 Rhymel Reviews Abroad at Home (By Julian Street. The Century Co.) QUE Hero wrote the book, you know, While Morgan did the illustrations. They took the train for Buffalo, Detroit and other wayside stations Like Salt Lake City, Cripple Creek And Battle ditto (what devotion !), And Denver underneath the Peak And San Francisco near the ocean. And Julian found Chicago, great: Detroit, dynamic; Cleveland, pretty; St. Louis, not quite up-to-date. He liked the push of Kansas City. What folks and sights he met and saw !— What editors of mighty journals, What maids demure, and drummers raw, And poker-wise Missouri Colonels! Exclusive Clubs let down their bars For him. He talked with men worth quoting, Like Henry Ford who makes those cars— The themes of so much anccdoting. He never iets the interest sag.— (It makes a hit with us Reviewers To mention James Montgomery Flagg And Charlie Towne and such Who's Whoers) ; “But, chatting on from coast to coast, Hotelling, training and detraining, He builds a hook one mustn't roast— A log that’s wholly entert: And what T fail to understand Ts how these towns that marked his marches Across Columbia's happy land Forgot to build Triumphal Arches. Arthur Guiterman Here’s a New “Ford Story” This story is ‘on me’,” said the Fordist, with a sorry look. “ This morning I started down town with my wife in the Ford. She had told me that it was dangerous to go in the car today with the streets so slippery from the shower, but I just laughed and, like a darned fool, didn’t heed her warning. You see, I haven't had the Ford very long, and up to this morning had never skod, skad or skidden, whichever word is right “Well, we started. As we swung out upon a particularly slippery piece of pavement, where the grade was especially strong, my wife looked worse scared than ever, which moved me tranquilly to turn on the speed. Why does a man act so? “When we reached a place where a curve was just ahead and were going about twenty miles an hour, along came two huge battle- ships headed in the opposite direction. They were making the usual speed on a ten mile an hour legal limit—thirty-three miles. I swerved and started to slow up. If 1 had gone on and undertaken to make the curve at the speed I had, I should have ceased all such and all other undertakings permanently and some other undertaker would have been put on the job. “Yes, I started to slow up. I applied the brakes and the car proceeded at a greatly ac- celerated speed. When I twisted the steering wheel the whole mechanism laughed at me. I didn't know where we were going, but we were on our way. We were idle but not disinter- ested spectators, The car was now going side- wise, daring any other car to try to use the road. A car can go almost as fast sidewise as it can endwise. If you don’t believe it, it. I advise you, however, to believe it. “We were headed toward a steep bank that rose above the roadway. The hind end of the car kept even with the front end till the latter hit the bank, and then the hind end swung around in exactly the opposite direc- tion from the one in which we wanted to go. “We sat there. I felt pale and my wife looked it. 1 still had the steering wheel, but I was not using it, and really didn’t need it at all. “The two battleship chauffeurs came run- ning back. They had seen us swat_ the grassy, slope with the stern of our car. They wanted to know what had kept us from going over. We could have told them, but we were busy about other thin; One of them even offered to haul my wife home, but she had had such a nice little ride, thanks, and so she red to walk. Hy I coaxed my wife back into posi- tion and started the car home. That is, I intended to. But the thing wouldn't steer. The front wheels were pigeon-toed and cross- eyed and acted as if they had never seen each other before. They were like new next-door neighbors. They stared so at each other. “My wife started to walk home. She felt the need of exercise. I went to a telephone and called the garage man to come and get that machine. “Henceforth I shall wear tire chains on my Ford whenever there has been even 2 heavy dew.