Life, 1915-03-25 · page 30 of 44
Life — March 25, 1915 — page 30: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a satirical humor column featuring a collection of brief quotations paired with witty rejoinders. The page mocks public figures and their statements through ironic commentary. **Key targets include:** - **John Wanamaker** (retail magnate): Quoted lamenting lost "Sundays," met with sarcasm about losing mathematics education instead - **F.W. Whitridge** (streetcar company president): Claims he won't educate people to better manners; the joke implies he won't teach passengers to sit down properly - **Miss Jane Addams** (social reformer): Says America is "safe," contradicted by the witty response about dangerous New York street travel - **Principal Jackson** (Lynn High School): Forbids girls calling boys and flirting; the retort compares his prudishness to Adam and Eve's futility **The cartoon** (captioned "Instruction for the Hyphenated American") depicts Lady Liberty instructing immigrant or hyphenated-American children, satirizing debates over Americanization and immigrant assimilation during the Progressive Era. The column's broader satire targets self-important authority figures whose pronouncements reveal hypocrisy or disconnection from reality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
W* shall never see Sunday's like again —John Wanamaker. Praise God, from whom all blessings flow. eeee If this practical and mercenary attitude continues, not only will the classics disappear from our curricula, but higher mathematics and the more advanced work in literature will also go.—President M. Woolsey Stryker, of Hamilton College. We can shed a bitter tear over the classics and literature. But what grand news about the higher mathematics! eoee y popular artificial foods, which people imagine to be good food in con- centrated form, contain more alcohol than sherry wine, and will cause in- xication if enough is taken. —Dr, Franklin W. White. Alabama papers please copy. eee A play, to my mind, cannot be built té order any more than a child can. —Granville Barker, They say Shakespeare did it, but this may be a newspaper story. oo ee Do you think that the gained in wisdom and for ular election ?—Judge A. We wouldn't dare say. hoping for the best. eo ee ight by pop- Clearwater. We are all It is said that Germany should have prevented Austria from doing what she did. Austria is a great country of fifty million i habitants, and a great power. Germany had an alliance with her and. had to keep faith. —Dr. Bernhard Dernberg. Aren't you too fussy about a little matter like that? ee ee You girls are too immodest. I know you are calling up the boys on the tele- phone afternoons and making " dates” for the evening. That has got to be stopped, too. If this smoking and flirting and im- proper conduct generally is not stopped, punishment will be meted out.—Prin- cipal Jackson, of the Lynn (Mass.) English High School, as reported by the World. Didn't Adam and Eve hear some- thing very much like that? And now look at them! ETE “They Say” I regret that I do not see my way to undertaking to educate the people to a change of their manners and customs.— F.W. Whitridge, president of a New York street-car line. He is apparently proceeding upon the gratuitous assumption that after all these years they might be taught to sit down. eens Nearly all cold waves of the United States occur in the area forming the rear of a passing cyclone and the front of an approaching anticyclone.— Professor Andrew H. Palmer, of the United States Weather Bureau. This sounds as if the professor had been following on the trail of the Colonel during his last campaign. There has never been a time when the United States has been so safe as it is to-day. —AMiss Jane Addams, Miss Addams has evidently not been trying to travel around New York on foot. If you permit our children to be brutalized by witnessing these cruelties upon animals it is but natural that they shall hecome callous to such cruel- ties to their fellow-men as war brings. It is to encourage a higher ethical standard in all things that we are op- posed to the continuance of this prac- tice in the schools—Mrs. Sara W. Lyons, of the Anti-Vivisection Society. eee Since the only basis for marriage is love, why in the event of love being, changed to loathing, should the mar- riage continue? : —Rev. Percy Stickney Grant. Maybe it is because a few ignorant ecclesiastics have passed the word along. Patriotism TRIOTISM is a noble sentiment which expresses itself in a pas- sionate desire to fight and, if necessary, die for one’s own country. It is in- valuable to war-makers, for if it were not for patriotism they would soon lose their jobs and have to seek some peaceful employment. It is very for- tunate for these gentlemen that one cannot be patriotic and at the same time respect the patriotism of others. When Christian nations begin to love their neighbors as themselves it will mark the birth of a higher form of patriotism; but war, which is now demonstrating its efficiency, will prob- ably receive its death blow. W. F.R. INSTRUCTION FOR THE HYPHENATED AMERICAN comichooks,