Life — March 11, 1915 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Not of an Inquiring Tum A well-known judge dined recently at a West-end hotel, where the man who takes care of the hats is celebrated for his memory about the ownership of head- gear. “How do you know that is my hat?” the: judge asked, as his ‘silk ‘hat (was presented to him. don’t know it, sir,” said the man. “Then why do you give it to me?” insisted the bewildered judge. “ Because you gave it to me, sir,” re- plied the man, without moving a muscle of his face.—Tit-Bits. A Nature-Faker The teacher was holding up a picture of a: zebra. “Now, children, what is this?” t looks to me like a horse in a bathing-suit,” answered little Arthur. —Harper’s Magasine. Juvce: You admit, then, that you stole the loaf of bread? Woman Prisoner: Yes, your honor. Juvce: What have you to say for yourself ? Wostax: Nothing, your honor. If it _was lace or jewelry I might plead kleptomania, but we can't work that when it's bread.—Boston Transcript. Lire is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the Canada and British Possessions. foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.05 a rent copies; 10 cents. Back numbers, alter three months from date of publication, 25_ cents, Issues prior to 1910 out of print The text and illustrations in Live are copyrighted. United States, Gr $5.00 a year in advance. ear; to Canada, 52 cents, For Reprint Rights in Great Britain apply to Lire, 114 Southampton Row, London, W. C. THAT MUST MAVE BEEN FINE!” “ Fatnuer, I think it only fair to tell you that I need fifty dollars. I'd rather owe it to you than to some outsider.” —Century. Lire is for sale by all newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from book An Inconsderate Woman Jones was one of those men who grumble at everything and everybody. He was once attacked by inflammatory rheumatism, and was carefully nursed by his wife, who was very devoted to him, in spite of his fault-finding disposition. His suffering caused her to burst into tears sometimes as she sat by his bed- side. One day a friend came in and asked him how he was getting on. “Badly, badly,” he exclaimed; “and it's all my wife's fault.” “Is it possible?” asked the friend, in surprise. “Yes. The doctor told me that hu- midity was bad for me, and there that woman sits and cries, just to make it moist in the room.”—Tit-Bits. New Farming “Farm products cost more than they used to.” “Yes,” replied the farmer. “When a farmer is supposed to know the botanical name of what he’s raisin’ an’ the z00- logical name of the insect that eats it, and the chemical name of what will kill it, somebody's got to pay.” —London Opinion. “T siatt sue you for damages. Your confounded dog just bit me.” “You'll have to prove it. Wait a moment, and I'll sce if his teeth fit the marks."—Century. sellers in all the principal cities in the world. The foreign trade supplied fro: London Office, Rolls No contribution will be returned unles: envelope. Lire does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of wns licited contributions. House, Breams Buildings, London, E. C. accompanied by stamped and addressed Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address Product of the Most Modern Factory Lyon & Healy Piano $350 Best Piano Value in America fee) ae A very broad statement but a reputation gained by 50 years of fair Dealing is the Guarantee. ASK YOUR DEALER *FOR THE LYON & HEALY—IF HE HASN'T IT—WRITE US. Sent Meal World’s Largest Music House dhesg? Mees ficiates oats = KV} CHICAGO