Life, 1915-02-25 · page 29 of 44
Life — February 25, 1915 — page 29: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece mocks American pacifism and idealistic disarmament arguments circa 1910s. A visiting alien ("Gentleman from Jupiter") questions an American ("Native Son") about military preparedness amid international tensions ("trouble to the East"—likely referencing Asian conflicts). The satire targets American reliance on *rhetoric over action*: the Native Son claims preparedness consists merely of newspaper articles by "the Colonel" (possibly Theodore Roosevelt), treaties signed by William Jennings Bryan, and the moral influence of Dr. Lyman Abbott—not actual weapons or armies. The joke exposes the naïveté of believing that reputation, pacifism, and good intentions provide real defense against armed enemies like Japan or Germany. The secondary cartoon contrasts literary idealism: a Jack London-style hero meets a Robert W. Chambers heroine, mocking sentimental fiction's disconnection from gritty reality. The "Modern" dialogue at bottom further satirizes this gap—a character turned criminal because legitimate employment was unavailable.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“CrP E™ Explaining Our Theory T BEG your pardon,” said the Gentleman from Jupiter, “but, of course, with all this trouble to the East, you Americans are preparing for war, are you not?” “Well,” replied the Native Son, tugging at his goatee, “we are and we aren't. The Colonel has contributed several articles to the papers, if that’s what you mean.” “T didn’t mean exactly that,” replied the Gentleman from Jupiter. “ What I meant was real preparedness— getting up a National Guard, you know, and manufacturing enough ammunition for the guns, and increasing the effi- ciency of the army.” The Native Son frowned and shook his head. “That,” said the Native Son, “is barbarism, got beyond that stage in this country.” “Yes, But it would appear that the other fellows have not. What are you going to do about that?” “My dear man, you don’t understand in the least. Mr. Bryan is attending to all that. He—he is making ’em all sign treaties, you know, And then, of course, we have the Colonel. Most of the European nations had military representatives at San Juan. They're fearfully afraid of the Colonel. Wouldn't attack us for the world while he was still available, you know.” “I am beginning to sec.” “Then there's Dr. Lyman Abbott—a sort of general influence for good—if you understand me. I don't think We have A TRIUMPH OF ILLUSTRATION MEETING RETWEEN A JACK LONDON HERO AND A ROBERT W. CHAMBERS HEROINE =Euery REALISM “SIMPLY ITAVEN’T A THING TO WEAR" “NONSENSE! YOU DON'T LOOK HALF AS SHABBY AS 1 DO" Japan or Germany would have the heart to attack us while we had Dr, Abbott. I have sometimes thought it would be a splendid thing to distribute his photographs broadcast throughout the universe. It would promote the harmony of the spheres, rather. “Hum! And so you don’t believe in an effective arma- ment for defense?” “My dear chap, haven't I told you that we are above that sort of thing? It—well, it tends to drive a nation into war, you know.” “Which is a far greater evil, of course, than being driven into oblivion by an unscrupulous enemy armed to the teeth?” The Native Son scratched his head. “Rea id, “you'll have to see Mr. Bryan. He ttends to all that sort of thing. Personally, U've got a directors’ meeting.” Dana Burnet, Modem ELLO, Bill; what are you doing?” “Learnin’ to be a criminal. It’s the only way I knows of to get a job these day