Life, 1915-01-14 · page 37 of 44
Life — January 14, 1915 — page 37: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes **municipal corruption and political incompetence** through a mock historical fragment dated 1820. It depicts an absurd escalating "war" between New York City boroughs triggered by a minor incident—a New York City chamberlain shot by a Hoboken citizen. Rather than handle it reasonably, the mayors mobilize militias, and neighboring jurisdictions comically declare war on each other over ferry-boat protocol violations. The satire targets **political bosses** who exploit such trivial conflicts for campaign purposes, while ethnic tensions ("race war") are invoked cynically. The fragment mocks how ordinary citizens (native Americans) sensibly flee the manufactured chaos. The "Modern Inventions" section at bottom extends the satire: a **"Conscience-Duller"** device allows unethical behavior guilt-free—a dark commentary on how corrupt politicians and business figures rationalize dishonesty for success. The advertisements (cruise ships, whiskey) contrast sharply with this cynical political humor, typical of Life's satirical format.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Historical Fragment THe City Chamberlain of the large municipal center known as New York having been shot by a citizen of Hoboken, the Mayor of New York im- mediately declared’ war on .that place by mobilizing the militia ahd calling out the seventh regiment. The Mayor of Hoboken replied by ordering out the Hoboken guards, and issued an edict declaring that all native-born Americans, assuming there were such in Hoboken, should be granted their freedom. Staten Island declared war on Hoboken, and Brooklyn declared war on Staten Island on the ground that a Staten Island ferryboat had neglected to salute a South Brooklyn ferryboat. “This is a race war,” declared Jacob Cohenskiff, buckling on his armor and tying the key of the safe deposit around his neck. “It's a great pity,” wrote Professor Buncombe von Buncombe, “that the "people of these districts couldn't be allowed to decide this matter for them- selves.” “It would be the first time in his- tory that they did,” responded the two political bosses in chorus, as they pre- pared to lay out the campaign. Meanwhile all the native Americans succeeded, under cover of the night, in escaping in a catboat, thus mate- rially relieving the situation... February 22,1820 Alargecoaching: erate : excellent meal and the ever~ Old Overholt Rye “Same for 100 years” Nowadays, in this age of motoring, Old Overholt is } still the popular choice. Men appreciateits uniform purity, quality and flavor. Aged in the wood, bottled in bond. South! . O’er the Blue Caribbean! Voyage in luxurious white ships, o’er summer seas, to the region of ro- mance and enchantment— the Spanish Main! Cruises from 17 to 24 days Sailings every Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday from New York and New Orleans to Cuba, Jamaica, Panama Canal Colombian Ports Central and South America Literal stopover privileces granted are America inclodes mea price of transportation; mea extra; restaurant service ala carte. any ticket of tourist a oF write to PASSENGER DEPARTMENT United Frait Co. Steamship Service 17 Battery Place, New York for folders, sailini and full infor: Sailine Under the American Flag NITED FRUIT COMPANY STEAMSHIP SERVICE Modern Inventions ONSCIENCE-DULLER for amateur politicians, young husbands, clergymen and all others who do not wish to be annoyed by the dictates of conscience. Comes in a plush case, weighs only a few ounces, and, placed upon your dressing-table, produces its effect by means of patent radiations from a psychic motor. Unfailing. It has long been known by experts that conscience is a disease, Like the vermiform appendix, it is a souvenir of the past. Its baleful effects are often witnessed, especially in young and inexperienced persons. Our conscience-duller makes it possible for you to do anything to achieve success, JRARE BOOKS AND FIRST EDITIONS PUR- c c CHASED for people who are too busy to no matter how dishonorable, and be perfectly free from any qualms. Payable strictly form libraries. Address Dept. 3, E. V., BOSTON in advance, as it begins to work so soon that, if bought on the installment plan, the possessor would not care whether he paid for it or not. comichooks.coln)