Life — December 24, 1914 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

=SAUT SCISSORS AvT NULLus Brown is a melancholy soul. Rumor hath it that once he was crossed in love At any rate, he is usually pessimistic about things in gencral, and always par- ticular as to what he eats The other day he went into a restau- rant, and having scanned the luncheon menu, said to the waiter: “T sce you have some calves’ hearts.” “Yes, sir—yes, sir,” agreed the waiter, busily flicking crumbs from the table- cloth “Well, how about it Brown. “Are they tender “Yes, sir," declared the “ Beautifully tender.” “Then bring me some,” he said. “If there is in the world such a thing as a tender heart, I want it.” w York Call. continued waiter. IME ENEMY'S RIGHT WING OUR REAR ATTACKED Didn't Matter; It Was Still a Game Tt was during a golf game in Scotland. The first player who drove off was very bow-legged. The second player, un- mindful that his opponent was directly in front of him, struck the ball and it whizzed between his oppnent’s legs. “ Hoot, mon,” said the bow-legged one in anger, “that’s nae golf!” “Aweel,” said his opponent compla- cently, “ef ‘tis nae golf ‘tis gude croquet."—Ladies’ Home Journal, Some men at the club were telling dog stories after a day's shooting. After some time, when the tales had got very “tall”, one little man, who had been quite silent, said: “T have a dog that makes all yours seem fools. I generally feed him myself after dinner, but the other day a friend dropped in and the poor animal slipped my mind. After the meal we went into the garden. The dog scratched up a flower and laid it at my feet, with the most yearning’ look in his eyes—it was a forget-me-not.” Nobody told any more dog stories that evening.—Tit-Bits. Lire is published every Thursday, simultanconsly in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions. $5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a year; to Canada, 52 cents, Single cur- rent copies, 10 cents. Back numbers, alter three months from date of publication, 25,cents issues prior to 1910 out of print. The text and illustrations in Live are copyrighted. ‘or Reprint Rights in Great Britain apply to Live, 114 Southampton Row, 1 WC. Lire. is for sale by all newsdeaters in Great Britain and may be obtained from book sellers in all the principal cities in the wo: London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, London, E. C. No contribution will be ‘returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. Lire does not hold itself responsible for the loss or no} licited contributions. Prompt motification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. Life’s Premium to Subscribers Copr. Life Pub Co. "WHERE LOVE (By Angus MacDonall) A reproduction of this picture in full color, show- ing the vivid golden light effect of the desert. and measuring 15 by 10 inches on paper 21 by 16 inches in size, will be sent on each yearly subscription en- tered before April 1, 1915. A subscription to Lire is the best” possible gift, whether to yourself or some one ‘else—a copy of Lire every week, fifty-two copies a year, and this picture, all for the regular subscription price.* "Subscription, $5.00 Canadian,’ $5.52 Foreign, $6.04 LIFE PUBLISHING COMPANY 17 West 31st Street, New York THE SUBMARINE The foreign trade supplied from Lire’s turn of ume