Life, 1914-10-22 · page 36 of 44
Life — October 22, 1914 — page 36: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"International Regrets"** (top left): A satirical poem featuring mock statements from European leaders—Francis Joseph, Peter, William, George, Poincaré, and Albert—each expressing regret about war while claiming peaceful intentions. This appears to reference World War I-era diplomacy, mocking how various national leaders publicly maintained they sought peace while preparing for or conducting warfare. The juxtaposition of their noble-sounding phrases with the reality of conflict creates the satire. **"Tragedy"** (bottom): A political commentary on American protectionist politicians. The piece mocks "stand-pat protectionists" whose dire predictions about abandoning protective tariff policies proved wrong, yet they remained in power. The satire suggests these politicians created unnecessary panic through false prophecies, making their eventual electoral defeat ironic rather than catastrophic. Both pieces exemplify *Life* magazine's characteristic political satire targeting powerful figures' hypocrisy and incompetence.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
O OLISH PORARIES av — UR” Ff ONTEM a! International Regrets Greatly to my regret... .—Francis Joseph. In spite of our intense desire for friendly relations . . .—Peter. In the midst of perfect peace, the enemy surprises us... Forward with God . . .—William. Little as we incline to do so, we are forced . . .—George. Strong in our ardent desire of arriving at a peaceful solution . . .—Poincaré. Our menaced nation shudders and its children have bounded to the frontier . . .—Albert. Sliced Oranges with a dash of Abbott's ‘Bitters are appe- tizing and healthful. Sample of bitters by mail, 25 cta in stamps, C. W. Abbott & Co,, Baltimore, Md. THE UTMOST IN Bank Teter: This check is all right, but you must be introduced! Can you bring in your husband ? Woman: Who, Jack? Why, if Jack thought you wanted an introduction to ms he'd knock your block off! —Cleveland Plain Dealer. Captivating Story of a Captivating LOOKING AFTER SANDY MARGARET TURNBULL A wholesome story, touched with delicate humor. Sandy is simply a girl, young and so unusually nice, so child- ishly appealing that every- body wants to “look after her’’—and everybody does. Harper & Brothers CIGARETTES “Hoh!” contemptuously ejaculated Uncle Oracle Onken, during the recent spell of low temperature. “You young fellows don’t know anything about cold weather. Why, I remember the winter of eighteen hundred and so forth, when it was so cold that if you flung a dipper of Diilin’ water out o' doors, it cracked like a gun. Yes, sir; and a live coal would freeze solid in five minutes, Worse than that, your conversation ai tually froze before it could be heard.” A roem of domestic flavor from F. M. Minor of the Louisiana Times: When daddy has the stomach ache, The whole house is aroused; And no one sleeps a single wink Till his old ache is soused. When mammy has a dozen ills, She smilingly gets ‘round, And says, “To-morrow I'll be well,” And every one sleeps sound. GREAT BEAT SPRING WATER SO cents the case of 6 glass stoppered bottles Tragedy When a political party has insisted that it must be kept in power to maintain a certain policy; when it has painted in vivid colors the ruin that would follow a departure from that policy; when it has made even intelligent people believe in the accuracy of predictions of disaster; when all this has happened, isn't it really a tragedy that this party should be put out of office and the policy broken down without causing a ripple of disaster? Isn't it? It is a frightful ordeal that the stand- pat protectionists are going through just now, with every one of their predictions going wrong.—Kansas City Star. A Disappointed Pensioner Mrs, Higginson’s letters to her hus- band’s family in Brattleboro, says Mary Thacher Higginson in her biography of Thomas Wentworth Higginson, always contained characteristic comments on her husband's doings. “Wentworth has been away two days this week,” she wrote, “and is going to Washington to-night to fight for women. I wish they had been fixed before we were born, .. . Lately he has been trying to find a father and grandfather for some stray girl—I don’t know who. He hasn't found them yet, but I suppose he will persevere. I should think that one would be enough, but he is naturally thorough, you know.” The colonel explained in a postscript: “The case of this girl is that she wants a pension because her father was a soldier and died in a rebel prison. . . . I have come upon only two obstacles to her wish: “First, that she is not the man’s daughter. “ Second, that he is still alive.” —Youth's Companion, Peninsular & Oriental S. N. Co. Frequent Sailings, India, China, Philippines, Japan, Australis, New Zealand, Winter Tours in India. Round World Tours For full information apply Cunard Line, 21-24 State St, New York. HARTSHORN SHADE ROLLERS Bear the script name of Stewart Hartshorn on label. Get “Improved,” no tacks required. Rollers Tin Rolles ern elim ance cars tants in o heen hitio out | ing engit cars tom dled that for possi ough Com ( comicbooks.com