Life, 1914-10-08 · page 36 of 44
Life — October 8, 1914 — page 36: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Life* magazine (dated May 4, 1914, based on the diary entry) contains several distinct satirical pieces: **"Alliterativism"** is a poem by G.K. Chesterton mocking German complaints about Belgian neutrality violations. French aircraft flew over Baden and Bavaria, and Germany protested—yet the poem humorously points out that Germany itself has violated neutrality elsewhere. The extended B-alliteration parodies overwrought German rhetoric while satirizing the absurdity of selective neutrality complaints during WWI. **"Drowning No Bother to Them"** is a class-conscious joke: an old gentleman expresses sympathy for drowned sailors in a shipwreck, but "Old Lady" (presumably working-class) corrects him—she pities the *passengers*, since sailors are accustomed to danger. The satire targets sentimental upper-class attitudes toward working-class hardship. The remaining items are brief jokes and advertisements typical of the era. The page reflects early WWI concerns and period social attitudes about class and propriety.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Women’s Capes Cape of Godd Hope—Sweet Sixteen. Cape Flattery—Twenty. Cape Lookout—Twenty-five, Cape Fear—Thirty, Cape Farewell—Forty, —Ladies’ Home Journal, Wine Jelly when flavored with Abbott's Bitters is made more delightful and healthful. Sample of bitters by mail, 25 cents in stampa, C. W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. Might Just as Well “Why don't you move into more com- fortable quarters, old man?” “TL can't even pay the rent on this miserable hole “Well, ‘since you don't pay rent why not get something better?" —St. Louis Times. ‘The Uemo in Ciga rettes” omfort Without Extravayance, Hotel Woodstock, New York He was a zealous preacher, and was speaking in a voice of thunder from the platform of the mission-van to a small ience of country bumpkins. His sub- ject was “Heaven”, He said: Alliterativism Drowning No Bother to Them OLD GextLeman (who has just finished “The music in heaven is far superior to anything heard on carth, No words can describe it. All the best concerts cannot compare with it. If you were to ¢ the best band in England and place it beside the heavenly choir, it would be like the squeaking of a small mouse by the side of the roar of the Niagara Falls.” —Tit-Bits. Overholt Rye “Same for 100 years"’ A straight. Pennsylvani Rye with all the goodness of ripe old age. Mellowed in oak and bottled in bond. A, OVERHOLT & CO. Pittsburgh, Pa. (The Latest School.) [French airmen have been flying over Baden and Bavaria, violating Belgian neutrality.—Stated on German authority in the Westminster Gazette] Sce the flying French depart Like the bees of Bonaparte, Swarming up with a most venomous vitality Over Baden and Bavaria, And Brighton and Bulgaria, Thus violating Belgian neutrality. And the injured Prussian may Not unreasonably say: “Why, it cannot be so small a nation- ality! Since Brixton and Batavia, Bolivia and Belgravia, Are bursting with the Belgian neu- trality.” Beluchistan and Bonn, Braemer and Babylon All feel the French offense against legality ; , And Boston and Bilboa And Bucks and Bulawayo Will perish for their Belgian neu- trality. By pure Alliteration You may trace this curious nation, And respect this somewhat scattered principality’; When you see a B in Both You may take your Bible oath You are violating Belgian neutrality. —G. K. Chesterton, in News Witness. “Mr. Witcus tried to kiss me last ning.” How dared he?” “He didn't—I_ dared him.” —Pittsburgh Press. reading an account of a shipwreck with loss of passengers and all hands): Ha! I am sorry for the poor sailors that were drowned, Ow Lavy: Sailors! It isn’t the sail- ors—it’s the passengers I am sorry for. The sailors are used to it. —Kansas City Star. PRIMA PACIE EVIDENCE “DID YoU HEAR ABOUT THE TERRIBLE FRIGHT RORRY GOT ON THE DAY OF HIS WEDDING?” “NO, BUT 1 WAS AT THE CHURCH AND SAW MER.” comicbooks.com