Life — September 24, 1914 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Worked Both Ways In a case tried in a Philadelphia court the prosecuting attorney had a good deal of fun at the expense of counsel for the defendant, cach of whom seemed as stupid as the other, “Ignorance of the a interpoted the judge at a certain is no excuse for violation of law.” “May I inquire of your honor,” asked the prosecuting attorn “ whether your honor’s remarks are d ted at the defendant or his counsel? "—Argonaut, In 1920 “Who is that awfully important look- ing woman?” Why, that’s. Mrs. Van Gudgeon. She's the Re of the Daughters of the Stranded Tourists.” —Cleveland Plain-Dealer. SAT BEAR SPRING WATER 50 cents the case of 6 glass stoppered bottles Jude Johnson's Announcement Jove Jouwsox: The war is having such a dire effect on me I can't work at all, But Mrs. Johnson is undisturbed, and/tuens ont a/dozenwashings’a. day; —Atchison Globe, Sliced Oranges with a dash off Abbott's ‘Bitters iaine and healthut Sample, of Bitters ‘hy mail, 2 etx. | ‘Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md Frteno: I suppose the baby is fond of you? Para: Fond of me Why, he sleeps all day when I'm not at home and stays awake all night just to enjoy my society. —Tit-Bits. Here is that new Boston Garter Many dealers have NEVERBIND; if, yours hasn't, we will send sample pair, postpaid, for 25 cents mercerized, double-grip 35 cents, of 50 cents silk, in blue, lavender, gray, tan, white and black. GEORGE FROST CO., Sele Makers, Boston, Mass., U.S.A. NEVERBIND Boston G arter This little tension strip makes NEVERBIND \ or pinching fit without binding § No metal contacts There is NO RUBBER inthe Leg Band Always lifts on the Sock Never drags on the Leg Weighs less than half an ounce no slipping Must Have Been Difficult A man was bought before the court upon the complaint of his wife. While the prisoner was testifying, the judge wade it clear that he intended to be harsh with him; so his wife became frightened, and when called to the stand refused to give any testimony. In fact, she retracted all her accusations. “So your husband didn’t strike you. then?” said the judge. “ Where did you get that black eye?” “T struck it accidentally on the mantel- piece.” “So! And that piece bitten out of your car—he didn’t do that, either?” “No, no, your honor. I did that my- Berliner Iliustrirte Zeitung. Wise and Otherwise “It takes my wife so long to dress when we want to go to the city that we always miss the train,” complained the first suburbanite. “How is your wife? I don’t hear you kick much.” “My wife has a system that isn't so bad,” said the second suburbanite. “She's so late for one train that she's generally on time for the next.” —Pittsburgh Post. Comfort Without Extravagance, Hotel Woodstock, New York Why Not? “ Mother,” asked Tommy, “is it cor- reet to say that you ‘water a horse’ when he is thirsty?” “Yes, my dear,” said his mother, “Well, then,” said Tommy, picking up a saucer, “I'm going to milk the cat.” —Ladies’ Home Journal. How It Happened “How did they get into the scrap?” “Trying to preserve their neutrality.” —Detroit Free Press. Peninsular & Oriental S. N. Co. Frequent Sailings, India, China, Philippines, Japan, Australia, New Zealand, Winter Tours in India. Round World Tours. For full information apply Cunard Line, 21-24 State St, New York.