Life, 1914-09-17 · page 41 of 48
Life — September 17, 1914 — page 41: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces targeting early 20th-century American institutions: **"If Things Were Reversed"** inverts the typical student-teacher relationship. A bright pupil lectures apathetic teachers who cite "rules" against actual practice and defend mediocre textbooks marked by "commercialism and monopoly." The satire critiques progressive education's emphasis on passive learning through textbooks over hands-on instruction, and suggests teachers themselves resist practical engagement. **"It All Depends"** recounts an anecdote about James A. Garfield (U.S. President and Oberlin College administrator) explaining that educational outcomes depend entirely on goals—God takes 100 years to make an oak but only two months for a squash. The joke implies hasty education produces inferior results. **"Opportunity's Visit"** uses allegorical characters (Lazyman, Contentedman, Busyman) to mock different responses to opportunity. Only Busyman engages with it; the others reject it through complacency or apathy. The satire suggests most people squander chances for advancement. The remaining content consists of period advertisements for Emery shirts and Resinol Soap.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LIFE When buying shirts insist on this label It stands for Guaran- teed ft—color—wear, at $1.50 up. Your satisfaction assured. A New Shirt for One That Fails Write us for “Ethics of a Gentleman's Dress” and Catalog of Emery Shirts W. M. Steppacher & Bro., Inc., Philadelphia (Ofscet ee | New Tork, Chleagy St. Lents It All Depends When James A. Garfield was president of Oberlin College a man brought for entrance as a student his son, for whom he wished a shorter course than the regu- lar one. “The boy can never take all that in,” said the father.“ He wants to get through quicker. Can you arrange it for him?” “Oh, yes,” said Mr. Garfield. “He can take a short course; it all depends on what you want to make him. When God wants to make an oak He takes a hundred years, but He only takes two months to make a squash.” —Ladies’ Home Journal. JOUNNY HAS COME HOME AGAIN If Things Were Reversed 'OW, teachers,” said the bright pupil, “attention, please. Re- member that we have only six weeks to skim through this text-book besides getting a smattering of a dozen other subjects. I will now proceed to write a sentence on the blackboard.” One of the teachers held up his hand, “Please, pupil, let me write that sen- tence. I want the practice.” The bright pupil frowned. “My dear sir, that is dead against our rules. We give you as little actual drill as possible, trusting upon our own lengthy explanations and the su- perb quality of our text-books to burnish your minds.” “But, dear pupi said another thoughtful-looking teacher, “I have been looking over these text-books and they are not at all good. They bear the dog-eared marks of commercialism and monopoly in the making. Every author who writes one has only the most superficial knowledge of his sub- ject. Why not use some of the old, tested books? I “Tut, tut! If you persist you'll be sent to the office, where the super- intendent will talk to you hindly about your moral nature for at least five minutes. Remember, you must all love your school.” At this moment the gong rang, and the bright pupil said: “Period is now over. Now you can go out and play according to the latest schedule prepared by the National Pupils’ Association for the Advance- ment of the Group Tendencies in All Teachers.” Opportunity’s Visit AZYMAN, Contentedman and Busyman lived together in the same house. One day, when only Lazyman and Contentedman were at home, Opportunity knocked. As Lazyman made not the slightest move to go to the door, Contentedman went and opened it. “Tam Opportunity,” said the visitor, “and I have something very wonderful for you.” Lazyman yawned and said nothing. Contentedman courteously explained that he was not interested for the very good reason that he had everything he wanted, “T believe Busyman also lives here,” said Opportunity. “Where is he? I know he would be glad to see me.” “Indeed he would, but he’s out. He's always busy running around. You're not the first Opportunity that’s missed. Opportunities have been knocking here regularly for years, but easy way toc ear | your skin wit Resinol Soap Bathe your face for several minutes with Resinol Soap and hot water, work- ing the creamy lather into the skin gently with the finger-tips. Then apply a little Resinol Ointment. Let this stay on ten minutes, and wash off with Resinol Soap and more hot water. Finish with a dash of cold water to close the pores. Do this once or twice a day, and you will be astonished to find how quickly the healing, antiseptic Resinol medication soothes and cleanses the pores, removes pimples and blackheads, and leaves the complexion clear, fresh and velvety. After the first few treatments, the Res- inol Ointment can probably be omitted. Resinol Soap costs but twenty-five cents at all druggists and dealers ir toilet goods. For a guest-room size trial cake, with a miniature hox of Resinol Ointment, write to Dept. 35 Resinol, Baltimore, Md. he's never at home. I tell him it doesn’t pay to be so busy.” Opportunity walked away with de- jected mien. £0. 2. 'OR the sake of the feelings of those who declared that large arma- ments would prevent war, it is to be hoped that anti-militarists will consid- erately refrain from saying, “I told you so”.