Life, 1914-09-17 · page 3 of 48
Life — September 17, 1914 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Top Section - "Our Primer of Celebrities":** This satirical text discusses "the War Lord" (likely a political figure, possibly related to WWI-era leadership). The piece mocks those in power who discuss peace while preparing for war, questioning their motives and the propriety of their decisions. It suggests such figures lack genuine justification for military action beyond honor. **"Why Not?" Section:** Critiques earnest citizens focusing on Colonel [Roosevelt?] and the Governor of New York, sarcastically noting their concern about Supreme Court appointments and judicial oversight. **Bottom Cartoon:** A satire showing two men (possibly politicians) at "The Rockefeller Institute," with one saying they need "new records" because someone is "tired of the 'serum glide'"—likely mocking institutional pretensions or scientific claims. The page primarily contains product advertisements (Boston Garter, Cat's Paw Rubber Heels).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Our Primer of Celebrities the War Lord. Yes, you have guessed it truly. He is a king by divine right. This must be so, because he says it himself, And he knows. What does the War Lord do? Oh, many things. For one thing, he talks peace between wars while he is getting ready to fight. Dear, dear! Does he love to fight? Well, yes, in a way. But he doesn't like té fight unless it is for honor, or principle, or something like that. Then he loves to fight and as many as he can, And when it is all over and his honor has been vindi- cated, all the widows and orphans are so glad. Isn't that strange? Tell me; are there many War Lords left? Not many, And there won't be any after a while. You don’t say! he? When will that time Pretty soon—pretty soon—unless all signs fail. Why Not? GREAT many earnest people are putting their minds on what to do with the Colonel, from running for the Presidency to being the Governor of New York. But has anybody ever thought of making him a member of the Supreme Court? He knows so little about law that there ought not to he any trouble in getting him admitted tothe bar, If he were a member of the Supreme Court war, he could organize it into a rough- rider company and make its decisions interesting and fairly lucid to every- dd we went to Men who dress well prefer the silk Boston Garter for Personal satisfaction GEORGE FmosT co., MAKER | i cAT'S PAw slipping. Makes ‘em wear longer. CUSHION RUBBER HEELS All Dealers. 50c. Attached. 2 ay oN That Foster Friction Plug stands between millions of people and dangerous, slippery sidewalks. Do you nave weak arches? Then you need the Foster Orthopedic Heel which vives that. extra, support shere needed. Especially valuable to policemen, mo tormen, conductors, floor walkers and all who are on their feet a great deal. Tc attached of your dealer — or sent postpaid upon re- ceipt of bc. and outline of ~our heel. “WE'LL HAVE TO GET SOME NEW RECORDS. It prevents thousands of accidents. It makes Cat’s Paw Rubber Heels wear longer than ordinary kinds. But there are additional reasons why you should have all your shoes—old and new—equipped with Cat's Paw Heels. Extra quality rubber, giving greater resiliency and longer wear, No holes to track in mud or dirt. Cost no more than or ry kinds, Black or Tan, soc attached. Foster Rubber Co., 105 Federal Street, Boston, Mass. Originators and patentecs of the Foster Friction Plug which prevents slipping. HE SEEMS TO BE TIRED OF THE ‘SERUM GLIDF