Life, 1914-09-10 · page 29 of 48
Life — September 10, 1914 — page 29: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"Her Nestling"** is an allegory about post-WWI peace efforts. The dove of peace attempts to build a nest using materials from all nations (German linden, English oak, French chestnut, Russian fir), symbolizing international cooperation after World War I. However, the egg hatches into a vulture—the poem's dark joke suggesting that despite nations' contributions to peace, the result is something monstrous and predatory. This satirizes the failure of early peace initiatives and the cynical reality beneath diplomatic gestures. **"Of Course He Didn't Get It"** mocks department store bureaucracy and customer service. A man seeking a "combination blackboard and checkerboard" is shuttled between floors with contradictory directions, increasingly confusing himself and the staff. By the story's end, he's repeating garbled versions ("checkerrobe," "robelap") and ends up in an ambulance. The satire targets incompetent customer service and the absurdity of institutional runaround in modern retail.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ee Her Nestling THE dove of peace desired to build A nest both stout and strong, And every nation sent her twigs To help the work along, And German linden, English oak, As tough as seasoned leather, French chestnut, and the Russian fir Were woven all together. rat With folded wings in*calm content She brooded on the’ nest, And felt life stirring in the egg Beneath her downy breast. Then bang!—the shell blew up and freed Its dark and dreadful culture. The frightened dove discovered she, Alas, had hatched a vulture. Minna Irving. Of Course He Didn't Get It ‘| WANT to get a combination black- board and checkerboard.” It was the most crowded hour dur- ing the day in the great department store. The urbane floorwalker put on his best commercial smile. “Yes, sir. Take the elevator to the right. Fifth floor.” The man got off at the fifth floor, “I want to get a combin: blackboard and checkerboard.” “Yes, sir, Get them in the house furnishing goods depart- ment, in the basement.” “Are you sure about that?” “ Positive.” The man descended. Wander- ing into the house furnishing goods department he accosted a genial-looking blonde. “I want to get a combination blackboard and checkerboard.” “What did: you say?” “TI said I want to get a—now, just a minute—oh, yes, a com- bination blackboard and checker- board.” “Games department, on the sev- enth floor.” He then went up to the seventh floor. The keeper of the games depart- ment came forward. “T want to get a combination ion THE MIRAGE checkerlap—wait a ‘minute—a_ combi- nation——" The man spoke slowly. “A combination checkerboard and laprobe.” “What did you say?” “T said I wanted to get a checker- robe and lapboard.” The man looked at him curiously “THE CUP DEFENDER” “Yes, sir. You will find them in the specialty department, on the third floor.” The man went down to the third floor. He went up to a nice-looking lady, and, patting her on the cheek, said: “T want to look at some of your patent, reversible lap ‘checkerboards, cut bias, with pleats on the side.” The saleslady called the floor- walker. He heard the man mut- tering to himself and called the house detective. When last the man stepped into the ambulance that mercifully took him, he: was say- ing to himself: “ Lapboard — checker robe— checkerlap—lap — checkerrobe — robelap.” seen, as Compensation it is true, as our business phi- losophers tell u: at “ those who never do more than they get paid for, never get paid for more than they do”, then it is quite clear that if you want to get paid for more than you do, you must do more than you get paid for. Even a philosopher ought to see how impossible that is, but, of course, the true philosopher can- not be expected to hesitate over a mere impossibility.