Life — August 6, 1914 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Explaining It HERE is only one thing about your civilization that I do not understand,” said the Lady from Venus, deftly tucking a pamphlet on the tariff into her traveling bag, “and that is your system of municipal government.” “It's perfectly “simple,” said the Native, good-naturedly, “ You see, the city is divided up into districts, each governed by a leader, and these leaders are directly responsible to a dignitary called the Boss. Whenever it seems necessary or advisable to hold an elec- tion, the Boss picks out a candidate and whispers his name to the lead- crs, who direct their districts to vote for the candidate. Perfectly simple, you “Yes, but haven't you something called a Legislature?” “That is what it is called, yes. The Boss picks that out, too. It saves so much distressing thought on the part of the public.” “But does not the Legislature make the laws?” “Not at all, The Boss makes the laws. The Legislature just attends to passing them. You see, Wall Street needs so much special legislation that it would be almost impossible to leave it to the Legislature. Business would “For Want of a Nail a shoe was lost. For want of a shoe a horse was lost.” Be on the safe side and shoe your horses with “Capewell™ nails. The This Checked Head Our Trade Mark RUSSIAN brand by your shoer. WOLFHOUNDS We are the olfest breeders and exhibi- tors of these dogs in theWest and main tala ‘one of the Largest and most select Kennels of the bree These. aristocratic as they are Large and es they are beautilul. Delightful eon panions apd the most emcient Wolf 2 itestrate:t suffer painfully. Why, many of our most prominent brokers would have to stop gambling if it weren't for this ad- mirable form of government!” “ B-but, of course, I'm only a woman, and I don’t understand these things very well, but I should think the news- papers would take it up and—and de- nounce the Boss, or something.” “Some of them do. And then the people smile and say: ‘Yellow Jour- nalism’, And then again” “Yes?” “Some of the papers are owned in Wall Street.” “Oh, I see. robin, isn’t it?” “Yes, that’s it. An endless chain.” “Well, I'm sure that's glorious, It t_ work very smoothly.” smoothly that you can hardly sce it work at all.” “Beautiful! Thank you so much,” “Don't mention it.” It's a sort of round- HUNTER WHISKEY STEADILY panbee WON THE CONFIDENCE AND APPROBATION OF THE PUBLIC MORE THAN 50 YEARS AGO AND THE INCREASING DEMAND FOR IT IN EVERY WAY WORTHY AND WELL QUALIFIED IT PROVES $id at all fintclass calls and by jobbers NAITAN '& SUN, Baltimore, Md. Cork Bps in the Milo Yellow Label Box A Deficient Pupil Into the police court of Mobile there had been haled for the fourth time a negro boy, charged with chicken-stealing. The magistrate determined to appeal to the boy's father. “Sce here,” said his honor to the parent, “this boy of yours has been up in court so many times for stealing chickens that I am tired of see “T doesn't blame yo’, “an’ I's tired of “Then, why don't you teach him how to act? Show him the right way, and he won't be coming here.” “T has showed him de right way, jedg said the old man, very earnestly. “I has cert'n'y showed him de right way, but somchow dat wuthless nigger keeps git- tin’ caught comin’ away wif de chickens.” —Argonant. HOW A MAN FRELS UPON READING THE LOVE-LETTERS SHE RETURNED comicbooks.com