Life, 1914-08-06 · page 14 of 40
Life — August 6, 1914 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece mocks railroad safety claims through a Japanese observer's perspective. The letter writer describes encountering a drunk railroad official who dismisses concerns about wrecks. The accompanying illustration shows a disheveled, intoxicated man in a train conductor's uniform. The satire targets railroad company executives' denial about safety problems—specifically, their deflection that engineer drunkenness doesn't cause wrecks. The Japanese correspondent's naive questions expose the absurdity of this position. By using a foreign perspective, the author emphasizes how ridiculous these claims sound to outside observers. The detailed statistics about wreck investigations serve to underscore that companies knew about the problem but refused accountability.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
* EAB IE + Letters of a Japanese School-boy The Terrible Increase of “Drunkenness Among Engineers To Editor “Life Magazine” who adds happy time-table to all stations where it is sold, EAR SIR:— 1 wish tell you a peculiarity I just met. “Quite recently of yore I accountered one bereaved gentleman weeping alonesome on R R depot bench by St Josephine, Mo. He was tired out in expensive clothes of Col. Mul- hall appearance while refined J. Ham Lewis expression showed from his chin-moustache, Yet he wep. Of frequently he make thumb-signal to Hon. Pullman reporter who pass by making no attention to him. “O Sir!” he decry pitfully to Hon. Pullman, “ will you not kindly take my baggage of bag and put him in haxicab?” “Shall not!” retort that burnt complexion from red hat. “Kindly not to speak words at me. If I was seen recognizing you I should also be fired jobless.” So Hon. Pullman pass onwards resembling Hon. Al Jolson, I walk upwards to this alonesome gentleman. speak to him, because I am kind to animals. “What kind of smallpox do you enjoy that fingers dare not touch you without insult?" I ask it. “Tam former President of this road,” he sorra. fashionable to despise me. Last week Governors came to my office be- fore passing laws. To-day news-butch- cries refuse to sell me ‘Lire’, I am a taint.” “What were cause of your fall- down?” I ask to know. “TI was too good a President,” he say it. “I was too kind to passengers. No railroad in America had more Cleaner hospitals or better burial serv- ice than mine. My undertakers, nurses, coroners and alibi lawyers was con- tinuously alert, ready to be at scene of wreck before it happened. No one who has ever been through one of our personally conducted wrecks could say it was not perfect in every way. And yet persons are never satisfied.” “Yet should not R. R. Presidents be more infrequent about wrecks?” I in- quest chivalrously. “R. R. Presidents does not cause wrecks!" he holla. “Not do? Who do?” I ask to know. I should “Tt is “Yet he wep” “Engineers does,” he snagger with statistics. “What reason makes them?” is next question for me. “Intemperence of drunkenness,” he tell. “How could those steam chauffeurs be so intoxic?” I abject. He make no intellectual reply to this composal. “Out of 686 wrecks exploding on my road in year 1913 more than 103% have been caused by engineers full of alcohol habit. I know because my hired Inspector make this report. I signed those reports, so they must be truer than ever. From those 686 reports not one of my em- ployed Inspectors find something wrong with woodish cars, folding-bed road, bow-legged rails and wink-wink lantern signal. Ah, no! ‘Engineer drunk’ say each report with dishagreeable truth.” “All engineers should be locked in jails and engines run by R. R. Presidents for temperence,” I snuggest. “Perhapsly,” he eggree. “I have here,” (he make hand- poke to vestcoat pocket and fetch forth one slight pamplet- book of respectful Presbyterian expression), “I have here Board of Directors Report of slight south-end collision occurring at Cemetary View last October.” So he read for following: “Our special Inspector, Mr. I. M. Aliar, have made deep- down investigation of wreck occurring at Cemetary View. He find following facts: 1—Report of 67 dead passengers was considerable exaggerated in news. 12 of them was suffering from asthma, 6 from nervous prostratus and 3 from hookworm, so. they would die sometime anyhow. Nothing were wrong with’ road-bed of the N.G, I. 0.U.& CQ. D. because Hon. Track Walk did so several years ago and_ reported everything safe, though slightly rusted. Track were spread 4 inch near place where axident exploded —but this are almost nothing in a road 3,000 miles long. 3—Everything possible were did for safety of passengers. Usual signal, composed of coal-oil lamp and 2 candles, were placed in window of Mrs Casey’s barn. If they blew out it were fault of weather, not Board of Directors. Cars were constructed of best grade hand-sawed hickory, seasoned by 50 years continuous