Life — July 23, 1914 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

; 25 Cents } fora Quarter of a Century THE FEMINIST MOVEMENT “DONT SHOUT” “Lbear you, can heat now as well Cok Sean neesbat tet oe mos, tured cxly hat Tota all “The Morley Phone for the DEAF ia to the cars what glames are to the eyes. , combort- Poa sear Mo Orer cor hundred thousand sold. Wiste for booklet aod testimonials, THE MORLEY CO., Dept. 783, Perry Bidg., Phila. Cork Tips in the Milo Yellow Label Box MIT me to introduce myself. T am known as the Loan Shark, Some people are ashamed of their names—not I. I glory in it. You will understand, however, that this is only between you and me. To my patrons I am only a guardian angel, one who steps in at the proper mo- ment and saves them from ruin, Therefore I rejoice because I am a saviour of humanity. I rejoice also for other reasons, that the earth is boundless and that the weakness of humanity is ineradicable—I rejoice and’ am exceeding merry; although I am bound to say that my face ex- Presses no merriment. It is a solemn and concerned face of responsibility. But— It may be difficult for you to believe, but there is actually a proposition on hand to eliminate me—me. Yes, I refer to myself. I, the great stand-by of the ages, am about to be eliminated. Ha, hat And to do this public opinion and other prominent persons have arrayed themselves against me—as if it mat- tered. As I have before stated, I am the Loan Shark, the one and only indivis- ible, perennial and eternal. I have been since the beginning and shall continue unto the end. When the world began I set up my shop in the wilderness and in the by-ways of great cities, and have plied my trade ‘ince, is all. Much obliged for your attention. I merely wanted to remind you of the fact that though newspapers expose me, though courts condemn me, and though the laws of usury put in jail occasionally here and there one of my own children—yet— T shall always be with you, Good morning. How to Catch a Summer Cold r is not always the easiest thing to catch a summer cold. It often t time and thought and proper exertion. You must be patient. Above all, never give up hope. Just when you think you are not going to get one, it will come along and seize you, . There are many recipes for catch- ing a summer cold, which are doubtless familiar to the highly intelligent reader. We shall not give them, In their place we shall simply present a few general directions. The first requisite is to get thor- oughly exhausted. To do this it is bet- ter to select some unusual thing. When you have indulged yourself in this until you are tired out, then eat as much as you can of strange food to which your stomach has heretofore been a stranger. This ought to bring on a summer cold within a reasonable time. If it doesn’t, it will be because you don’t know enough to have one. Ture is no place like the House of Cemmons for a “nice derangement of metaphors", It will be a long time be- fore we have a “mixture” equal to the outburst of an effusive orator who said: “The British lion, whether it is roam- ing the deserts of India or climbing the forests of Canada, will not draw in its horns or retire into its shell.”- Bits. ey | soft. rich whiskey with the flavor ofan old vintage. Bottled Old fashioned dis inBond — tillation—ripenad by age only. G PEBBLEFORD Old Fafhioned Quality Kentucky Bourbon CLEAR SPRING DISTILLING CO, DOUABON, NELSON COUNTY, KY. comicbooks.com