Life — July 2, 1914 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Lipa ts published every Thursday, #l Possessions. to Canada, 82 cents. Single cu Wonderful Woman With hat tipped over, no eye free, Tis very plain she cannot sce. With hair combed over the ears, ‘tis clear That she, of course, can hardly hear. With gown so tight it causes talk, ‘Tis plain that she can scarcely walk. And yet she dodges autos, teams, And gets along quite well, it seems. Man never could survive, poor chap, Beneath one-half that handicap. —Louisville Courier-Journal. Slight Distincion Quickness in repartee haz heen ered- ited to Paderewski. A gentleman once introduced the pianist to the caampion polo player of England, and added: “You are both leaders of your separate professions, though they arc, of course, very different.” “Not so very different,” quickly re- sponded the great pianist. “My new friend is a dear soul who plays polo, whereas I am a dear Pole who plays solo.”"—Christian Register, At the Movies Tue Groucu: Ten reels and just one man killed—and you call this a play! eines Post. Anchored “You are not very happy in this house,” friends remarked to the renter. “No, I can't say we are” “Your ceilings are falling.” “They are, and that isn’t all Our Hesacanniiaw: Is there any way to roof leaks, our cellar fills v":h water make the women dress decently? every time it rains, our radiators thump, Mas. Hem manouaw : Certainly there is. our furnace is too small for the house, “Well, what 1s it?” “Kill off the men. —Youngstown Telegram. its appetite is too large for our income, our gutters have rusted away, the porch sags, the house hasn’t had a new coat of paint for seven years, the wall paper hangs loose in every room, and the chimney is shorter after every wind- storm.” “Why in the world don’t you move?" “ Because we can’t find another house with a hall that our long Oriental run- ner will fit."—Newark News, What Next? The following, overheard on the sub- way, is offered to our readers without women are now importuning President Wilson to establish a Woman's Independence Day. Great Cxsar! Are they never satisfied? They already have three hundred and sixty-five such days.” —Evening Post. He: You understand what a margin in stocks is, don't you? Sue: Ob, yes. That's the money you put up and lose. FIVE ARGUMENTS FOR A SAFE AND SANE FOURTIE —Boston Transcript. sitaneousy ta the United States, Great Britain, Canada and fit LIVE {6 for sale by all newsdealers tn Great Britaia and may be obtained from booksellers {n all the principal SSicoa Jearla bivances’ ‘Aluditiousl povage to foreign countries in the Postal Unica, $L0ta cites of the world.” ‘The foreiga trade supplied Wor LIPR'S London Oticr, Rolls Howse, Breas Bulidiogs, Leadoa, EC. 25 cents. “Issues prior to 1919 out No contribution wiil be returned wnters accompanied by stamped and addrested envelope. LAVE doet met old tielf responsible for the lath or nowwreturm of unsolicited contrtintiont, cat copies 30 cemtk Back members, afer thre moat trom date of pac Ae text and ebustrations tn LAUR are copyrighted, For Reprint Bights tm Great Britain oppiy to Lie 114 Southamnyion Row, Lends Prompt natification thontd be sent hy subseribert of any change of address, For those who seek rest, recreation and the great outdoors, Minnesota's Lakes Her 10,000 beautiful lakes abound in gamey fish— pike, Black bass, crappies, muskallonge, pickere! trout, etc, @Camping and outing resorts—Deer. i, Petham, Detroit, Walker, Bemidjt— afford fal retreats from the summer heat and torpor. ‘Automatic Block Signal Train Service several times daily from St. Paul-Minneapolis and Duluth-Superior. Send for illustrated “Minnesota Lakes” 1914 edition. Yellowstone Park isin a class by itself. It excels all other outing re- gions. Its cool, healthful climate is a boon to many @The aul ‘end the Gakyon ewe the DebolderInto'e 4. M, CLELAND, General Passenger Agent, ST. PAUL, MINN, Personally Rocorted Tours Weekly from Chicago, St. Paul-Minnea: , to and thru ‘ellowstone Park di the season, June 15 to September is WHAT'S CLANCY DOIN’ NOW, MIKE?” HE'S GOT SOME KIND 0’ POLITICAL JOB. GAME WARDEN IN MADISON SQUARE