Life — May 21, 1914 — page 40: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“LIFE: About Wrinkles If the skin be kept soft and smooth, wrinkles may be staved off almost indefinitely. But, the question is—How is it possible to achieve this? The Natural Way of Preventing Wrinkles 1s to use Pears’ Soap The soap that was invented 125 years ago for this special purpose, and has never been equalled for its exquisite emol- lient and skin-vivifying prop- erties. Its action is at once protect- ive and preservative, maintain- ing the skin in a healthy condition and retaining its youthful freshness. Matchless for the Complexion The Great English Complexion Soap The Latest School “Howlers” Very merry and bright is the modern school-boy's idea of history, judging from the list of joyous “howlers" published in the current issue of the University Correspondent. This periodical recently offered a prize of one guinea for the best collection of twelve amusing mistakes, and the result has been a whole budget of “ howlers” calculated to make a stone dog smile. Here are some valuable bits of historical information: “ Finally James Il egave birth to a son, and so the people turned him off the throne.” “The courage of the Turks is ex- plained by the fact that a man with more than one wife is more willing to face death than if he had only one.” “The Minister of War is the clergy- man who preaches to the soldiers in the jam the Conqueror defeated Childe Harold at the Battle of Hastings, which was so called because the English hastened away from their enemies.” “Julius Cesar was murdered at the Cinema House.” “When the last French attack at Waterloo proved a failure, Napoleon turned very pale, and rode at full gallop to St. Helena.” Among howlers on general subjects were the following: “Ambiguity means telling the truth when you don’t mean to.” “The flannelette peril means petticoat government.” “Much butter is imported from Den- mark, because Danish cows have greater enterprise and superior technical educa- tion to ours,” “The mineral wealth of a country is ginger-beer and lemonade.” “A triangle is a square with only three corners,” These “howlers” might be supple- mented by one or two sent to us by a Welsh schoolmaster : “The principal vegetable and mineral products in America are tinned meat and borking strictors.” “The temperate zone is the region where no one drinks too much.” “*Name a town in Warwickshire.’ Answer, ‘Rugby.’ ‘Right. Néxt boy, anothe: * Association! The glish lesson is not altogether free from humor. “The masculine of sultana is raisin; ine of he-goat is she-went ; of hero, shero. “A corps is a dead gentleman; a corpse is a dead lady.” “Construct a sentence to show the use of the word ‘seldom’. ‘My father bought some potatoes last week, but mother “seld 'em"."" “To keep milk from turning sour you should leave it in the cow.” “To the question, ‘How would you divide four potatoes among five persons?” came the answer, ‘Mash 'em’.” —Tit-Bits, Holds Your Sock Smooth as Your Skin Men who wear the better things for the satisfaction they afford, buy the silk Boston Garter at 50 cents. GEORGE FROST CO., MAKERS, = = BOSTON. ““Who Did That?” (See the Culprit) Color Facsimile, Size 12 x 16 Price 25 cents A clever idea reproduced in full color, to brighten up your den or ‘‘cosy- room.” Shipped prepaid upon re- ceipt of remittance. LIFE PUBLISHING COMPANY St 31st Street New York comicbooks.com