Life, 1914-05-07 · page 40 of 52
Life — May 7, 1914 — page 40: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical humor and period advertising from early 20th-century Life magazine. **The "Relieved" Anecdote:** A British scientist lectures that the sun will lose its heat in 70 million years, making Earth uninhabitable. A relieved audience member interrupts—he misheard "seventy million" as "seven million" years and is grateful the catastrophe won't occur in his lifetime. The satire mocks human myopia: we ignore distant existential threats while obsessing over immediate concerns. **The Cemetery Cartoon:** A doctor boasts to a visitor that the village had no cemetery before his arrival—implying his medical practice has been so lethal that one was necessary. Dark humor about incompetent or deadly medical care. **"Avoiding Publicity" Section:** Satirizes lumber magnate Frederick Weyerhaeuser's tax avoidance. He successfully avoided public scrutiny and paid no taxes on half-million acres in Oregon. The ironic conclusion: paying taxes forces unwanted visibility—the real "trouble." The page is otherwise filled with period advertisements for luggage insurance, train travel, and candy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Relieved An eminent English man of science recently delivered a lecture during which an amusing incident occurred. In the course of his remarks he said something to this effect: “It is a well-established fact that the sun is gradually losing its heat, and that in the course of seventy million years its heating power will be so diminished that all beneficent effects will INSURE YOUR LUGGAGE! be lost, and no life can exist on the Wi cation or an extended bh.” tour our Baggage Policy enables you to travel — with a care-free mind and thoroughly enjoy As soon as this sentence was uttered. every mints of your tip. | a sturdy Briton in the rear of the hall ‘Goats but a fow conte arose and signified his desire to ask a ES question. “Pardon me," he said, “but Tndemnifies you against lossfrom how long did you say it would be before Gre, thelt, transportstion, ete., in | 3 2 ‘ ° custody ol ad, express com: this terrible calamity would occur? pany.steamship,hotelorclubhouse. “Why, venty. milli ” 'e are the oldest joint stock Sig eboct seventy, million <7ears, Insurance Company in America repeated the scientist, with a smile. end duarantee prompt settlement. The questioner fell back into his scat FREE Aigo remember while traveling” with a deep sigh of relief. “Thank INSURANCE COMPANY OF NORTH AMERICA heavens!” he muttered. “I thought I 4 at Nite Se, Pees understood him to say seven million.” —Youth’s Companion. (taking out a visitor): WHY, DO YOU KNOW, THIS VILLAGE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A CEMETERY BEFORE I CAME HERE! aan ite en EVERY DAY-—NO EXTRA FARE California and New Orleans ‘Southern Pacific—Sunset Route “The Exposition Line-1915” Through the golden Southwest, famed for its traditions, scenery and climate. Choice of water or rail lines to New York. The SOUTHERN PACIFIC received from the American Museum of Safety the Harriman Medal for the greatest progress in Safety—not a passenger fatality in five years due to collision or other train accident. Automatic electric block signals—oil burning locomotives—no cinders—no dust. For information address: NEW YORK CITY NEW ORLEANS HOUSTON SAN FRANCISCO ‘366 Broadway Metropolitan Bank Building Southera Pacific Building Flood Building Agencies all over the United States, Mexico, Cuba, Europe Old Time Candies Mints, caramels, gum-drops, taffies, molasses ‘candies, etc. — these are some of the old-fashioned candies in every box of Old Time Favorites Other kinds there are, too, that were once your own particular favorites —but made better than you ever believed they could be. Attractively packed in 20-ounce boxes with an old-time design and sold by Whitman agents everywhere at 60 cents a package. Sent post- paid (except anada and extreme west) on receipt of price if no agent is near. Send for “List of Good Things.” STEPHEN F. WHITMAN & SON. Inc., PHILADELPHIA Makers of 7lite2®3 Instantaneous Chocolate and Marshmallow Whip Avoiding Publicity TH late Frederick Weyerhaeuser, known as the “lumber king,” was unassuming and retiring. He hated publicity, In Oregon he hated pub- licity s« successfully, according to the newspaper dispatches, that he paid no taxes, although his holdings in that State amounted to about a half-million acres of land. That's the trouble with paying taxes. It brings one so promi- nently into the pitiless limelight. = (Aue MAAN RITIAAGEIA HTML ee