Life — May 7, 1914 — page 39: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

There Will Be Many Outcries What an outery will go up from the anti-vivisection- ists at Dr. Carrel's frank statement that before the results of experimentation are fully available for surgery with human patients “it is necessary to accumulate knowledge concerning the operative procedure as to a number of factors of safety”! That means more vivisection—New York World. ES, that is just what it means. And hospital patients, how about them? Of what use are these clever stunts unless “verified” on human beings? Vivisection has a broad horizon these days. Rules For young men who visit the house of a gentleman with two daughters. O not sit on one end of the only sofa all the time. Sofas, like people, get one-sided when sat on one-sidedly. When dancing the tango or other crazy dance movements, take up all the rugs. Rugs, like people, are often worn out by too much company. Be persistent. If you are met by down- cast eyes and reluctant words, remember that father is not always the same, either. Shortly after your arrival upon the scene, do not turn on all the electric lights, and sit all the evening in the broad glare of the great white way. We welcome lime light, but only when the bills are paid by others. In leaving the house, please see that all the windows and doors, except the one from which you make your graceful exit, are locked. Young girls who have been occupied dur- ing the evening by the charm of your manner, may easily forget these trifling details, and the presence of a rude burglar about 2 A. M. is always disconcerting to the ama- teur somnambulist. Our rocking chairs only have a capacity of one. Do not use our dog for a footstool, or when holding the lily-white hand of your hostess, play nervously with your feet on his back. He needs his covering for the frosty days that are coming. * Refreshments are served Sunday afternoons, by previous request. Do not, however, open the sideboard with a jimmy, as even now it is on its last legs. Please telephone, if possible, between the hours of eight and nine in the morning, twelve and one in the middle of the day and six-thirty and eight at night. These are the hours when we love to be interrupted at our meals, and in addition the telephone calls increase to the joys and sorrows of our beatific butler. We close at ten-thirty. On Saturday nights at ten- thirty-five. Do not vault over the piano on your hurried way to the sun parlor. Matches may be scratched upon it occasion- ally, however, if the privilege is not abused. After a quarrel, please close the storm door. In the case of rivals, our coal bin offers a safe retreat— for one or both. Paage Mw - seem ACN tolet dec TOILET WATER The Violet Sec of 1914 ts the supreme achievement of Richard Hudnu RICHARD HUDNUT NEW YORK AND PARIS 2RRKXM KX tet %, ¥ ers {44 2 4 se NB xt eee Es es Raz EK Len Ih pithy} HAXN NH HX FASS xX, $) x comicbooks.com