Life, 1914-04-23 · page 17 of 44
Life — April 23, 1914 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Top Section - "The Down-to-the-Minute Novel":** Richard P. Wood's poem critiques contemporary pulp fiction—shallow, sensational novels with quick plots, trendy slang, and marital scandals. The satirical point: modern commercial fiction prioritizes flash over substance, lacking genuine characters or literary merit. It's disposable entertainment that dies quickly. **Middle Cartoon - "Those Wandering Thoughts":** A father refuses his daughter's suitor, declaring him unintelligent. The humor plays on the father's own apparent vanity, suggesting his daughter inherited her lack of sense from him. **Bottom - "Prize Contest" (The Ice Trust Satire):** The most pointed satire: Life mockingly lists absurd excuses the Ice Trust might use to justify raising prices after an unusually cold winter (which should lower costs). Points like "the ice is too cold to remove" or "extra-cold ice deserves extra price" expose corporate pricing manipulation as cynical and nonsensical. This satirizes monopolistic business practices of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Down-to-the-Minute Novel ITHIN its gaudy covers, dressed to fit, Flashes the quick, but transient light of wit; From every page dusts off the pungent spice Of matrimonial matters not too nice; The current slang, the appropriate curse is there And all that Earth designs to damn the fair; Quick-shifting scenes, well draped by artist’s brush, Swift movement till the curtain’s downward rush: But, ah, how poor, how shallow is the acting, As if mere rays of cleverness refracting: Bright Genius hides her vivifying beams And leaves the stage to folly’s wit, it seems, Mere frothy repartee, the ballroom’s store, The wordy stock-in-trade of clubdom’s bore. Without a life-like character, to save; Its plot too thin, the critics’ wrath to brave, It dies before the morning sun has risen, Bequeaths its grave, its readers’ mental prison. Richard P, Wood. RATE PARENT: No, sirree. You can’t have her. I won't have a son-in-law who has no more brains than to want to marry a girl with no more sense than my daughter has shown in allowing you to think you could have her. “WON'T YOU GIVE ME A DANCE, MR. POLLYWOG?” “CERTAINLY, MISS FROGLET; BUT CAN YOU WAIT ABOUT A WEEK UNTIL I CUT MY OTHER FooT?” Prize Contest THE Ice Trust having offered a silver loving-cup for the best excuse which might be invented for raising the price of ice after the present cold winter, we hopefully submit the following: t. The ice being so thick and heavy, it costs more to handle it. 2. The blocks are so large that there is great waste in cutting them up for the retail trade. 3. The ice is so cold it freezes solid in the storage- houses and is very difficult to get out. 4. As the winter has been so cold, the summer will necessarily be very hot and the demand for ice very great, so that it is doubtful if there will be enough to go around. The ice being extra thick, extra cold and extra quality all through, it is only proper that an extra price should be demanded. THOSE WANDERING THOUGHTS 6. The price of ice never had any relation to the cost “THAT HAT LOOKS AS IF SHE MADE IT HERSELF—AMEN” of production anyhow. F. A, Waugh, comicbooks.com