Life, 1914-04-09 · page 33 of 40
Life — April 9, 1914 — page 33: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page consists primarily of **advertisements and advice columns** rather than political satire. The cartoon at top left shows a small boy asking his father "What's the little white ball for, Pa?"—a gentle, non-satirical domestic humor about golf. Below that, "Being Lucid" is a brief humorous essay satirizing the term "lucid." It jokes that people only call you lucid when they *agree* with you, never otherwise—and certainly no spouse would describe their partner that way. It's social commentary on how we use flattery dishonestly. The rest is straight advertising: JASCO TANK gasoline containers (emphasizing safety), Pennsylvania Vacuum Cup Tires (with performance guarantees), and a lengthy column titled "Remarks on Marriage" offering cynical yet earnest advice about wives as projects requiring decades of "refining and polishing." **Context for modern readers**: This reflects early 20th-century attitudes—particularly the patronizing view of wives as unfinished products needing husbands' improvement—presented here as conventional wisdom rather than questioned.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
7 ealebaeye 665 | Small Son (after THE LITTLE WHITE BALL FoR, PA? Being Lucid ge IF you wish to achieve a reputation oe ior originality and distinction, try sex being Incid, There is nothing quite ite like it: “Permit me to thank you for hid your lucid exposition of ——" it mat- ay ters not what the subject. } What is it to be lucid? It is to write | something which the man who compli- | ments you heeause you have been lucid cal | about it agrees with, No one who | disagrees with you ever called you | lucid. No woman ever referred to her | husband as a lucid husband. No man ever called his wife a lucid wife. CAN BE USING A The seamless, leakless, drawn eel gasolene tank. Made both motor boat and auto- noble in all standard styles sizes. They protect your pocket- » your property, your family, and yourself. En- by themen who know. At your dealer's or direct Jamey, Steinmetz & Co. Maia Oifice: Philadelphia, Pa. Jer Yok Oicer Hudeon Terminal lde, ACCIDENTS LIKE THESE AVOIDED BY JASCO TANK“ i AA eS ASE ELE SRD Oo Sra - Tire Words —Tire Deeds ape guarantee that these tires will not skid on wet or greasy pavements — else returnable at full purchase price, after reasonable trial—is based on complete and positive, not Partial and doubtful, non-skid efficiency. PE NO SYLVANIA VACUUM! CUPYTIRES The further guarantee of 4,500 miles actual service is for the user’s protection only. It is based on years of experience proving this mileage to be alow minimum. There is involved no expectation of adjustment, as the average mileage is far greater, there being numerous records of over 12,000 miles on heavy cars. The guarantee of absolutely , oilproof quality, still more definitely fixes Vacuum Cup Tires in a place entirely apart — in every consideration of safety and service. Start the season with this matchless tire equipment. Dealers Everywhere Pennsylvania Rubber Co. Jeannette, Pa. “New York: Boston nal Cleveland San Francisco Kansas City, Mo, Seale Dallas Adanta Los Angeles Minneapolis i Omaha Ne Remarks on Marriage O not be too particular about choosing a wife. Remember that wives are made, D not born. Any unmarried person is nothing more than raw material, for the real refining and polishing process takes place wholly after the ceremony Nor is it possible to tell just when the product is finished. Probably the aver: time required is something like a quarter of a century, By the time the silver wedding 1s reached, the average married couple possessed of ordinary insight ought to be pretty well acquainted with each other, although to he painfully exact, they never become absolutely acquainted with’ each other, except at the point where parallel lines meet, namely, infinity. The whole fun of married life, as in other walks of life in fact, is m having misunderstandings, but in never having the same misunderstanding twice. That's why it is not best to put off marrying or to marry some one whom you already know well Every little marital misunderstanding has a meaning of its own. Heed it well and grow wise and happy. comicbooks.com