Life, 1914-04-02 · page 24 of 68
Life — April 2, 1914 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a mock-serious opera synopsis parodying Giuseppe Verdi's *Aida*. The satire works through deliberate nonsense: character names like "Adamscarecrow" and "The Gink of Egypt" replace actual roles, while dialogue consists of gibberish mimicking operatic Italian—"Spermacetti banditti radii. Dago guinni wop" and "Celeste Aida sapolio." The humor targets opera itself: the pretentious, incomprehensible conventions of grand opera, where elaborate plots and foreign-language arias were performed for audiences who barely understood them. By replacing meaningful dialogue with patent absurdities ("She colors her hair," "five shillings in English money"), the writer suggests opera's grandiosity masks emptiness. The footnotes ("His voice dies away. In other words, it is dire") provide comic meta-commentary. This represents early-20th-century American anti-elitism toward European "high culture," mocking opera-goers' presumed snobbery.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“LE HRE* Aida, the Négurladi Italian Opera by Giuseppe Verdigris (Greengoods Joe) AIDA, a coloratura soprano. She colors her hair. AMNERVUS, an innuendo contralto. RADIUMS, an inflammatore tenore. ADAMSCARECROW, an imbroglio baritono. RAMPAGIST, a lumbago basso. THE GINK OF EGYPT, second bass and short stop. Act I. CENE—Palace in Memphis, XEC, tastefully decanted with florodora. Radiums and Rampagist discovered feeding a tame peccadillo. Rampacist (pensively sipping a colonnade) : Spermacetti banditti radii. Dago guinni wop. Rapiums (singing.to the accompaniment of a bandoline) : Celeste Aida sapolio, Seraglio, intaglio, Braggadocio lave pimento, Archipelago Vista memento. (His voice dies away. In other words, it is dire.) Amnervus (entering from the staccato, or staircase): Dolce far niente, anno domini improvisatore. (Aida comes out of a parabola by the riverside, becomingly dressed in a candleabra.) Aina (with spiritus frumenti): Gutta percha banana diploma. Duodecimo saliva. (The Gink of Egypt enters with an escort of Alkali, Alibi and Googlii, armed with Javelins and lambrequins.) Tue Gink (who has an August presence—four months ahead of Christmas presents) : Eni meni moni mi barcelona. Rapiums (throwing his whole sole into it, or rather, putting his foot in it): Luna parco coni ilo farrockawa. Cremo perfecto? Rampacist (with flat irony) : Acr II. Scene 1—Amnervus's tiring room, ing her tired. Amnervus (forte—she does not look it): Allegro da capo rio janeiro. Rialto portfolio. (Aida enters. She has changed her costume for a simple suit of eczema.) Aipa: Bella donna camera obscura, Omaha nebrasca. (She stubs her toe and falls into a reverie.) Scene 2—The City of Theves. Triumphal procession escorting The Gink, who bestrides a richly caparisoned gorgonzola. He presents Radiums with a crown, which is five shillings in English money.) Ravtums (disinfectedly): Muchoblijo. (Enter pris- oners, including Adamscarecrow, who has been frightfully bitten by vermicelli.) Aia (recognising her father by his portico): Dilettanti conversazione adagio. Nux vomica assafoetida. Apamscarecrow (cussorily): Se non e vero e ben tomato, Rapiums (to The Gink): tilio. Buffalo bilio. Tue Ginx (tencentiously): Olri, Damfino. t Her slaves are mak- Generalissimo virtuoso punc- Acr III. Scene—The Temple of Isis, where the college isis come from. Rampagist and Amnervus are seen drinking camel’s milk, fresh from the dromedairy. Rampacist (conspiring freely): stiletto. Tarantula cantata. 5 Amwnervus (with antimony): Sirocco ravioli. libretto. Infusoria. (They exeunt by the portmanto. Aida enters, a veil covering her feetures.) Ms Aipa (sotto voce. The significance of this phrase is perfectly plain. It means “ sort of vociferously”) : »Spa- ghetti tutti frutti creatore sousa.. (Radiums comes out of @ bungalow near at hand.) ty Rapiums (carusingly): Pro bono publico, barhafba campobello. Aipa (con amore, with the accent on the “cou”): Ali baba harmonica hydrophobia sciatica cupola. Apamscarecrow (who has been hiding in the plumbago trees): | Cantatrice. macaroni insomnia, (Amnervus sounds a toxin. The guards rush in and succumb them, The Gink meanwhile playing a paean on the pianola.) Acr IV. Scene—Judgment Hall above, colcella beneath. nervus is seen presenting Radiums with bunco. Amnervus: Regalia insignia diphtheris havana cuticura (She turns away with an air of peruna.) Raptums (doggedly. This shows that he is sirius): Susquehanna albino volcano. Castoria! Amyervus (zeroically): Aida no gooda. Shenigga. Raviums (with firmament): Aida bestevya, Nunbetta. Amnervus (in @ tone calculated to film with horra): Virago bravado scrofula pensecola. (Her munions carry him off to the colcella, where he seats himself on an equivalent.) Raptums (with disparity): Benvenuto cellini pompeii, magenta piazza. (Aida enters, having been so long in the anthracite that she is a damcite.) Aipa: Ullo mababi. Rapiums (overcame with joy): Ambrosia viola vanilla. (Opening his arms.) Uneeda! (Correcting himself.) Aida! Olio folio ditto. Topheavi rabbi. (She removes her embargo. Feeling chili, they kneel beside an emolument and kindle a fire with kerosene. Woof!) THE LIMIT. Manifesto mulatto Am- Quincy Kilby, > & ‘ 6 THE EVOLUTION OF THE EASTER HAT comicbooks.com