Life, 1914-03-26 · page 33 of 41
Life — March 26, 1914 — page 33: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **primarily advertisements and filler content**, not political cartoons. The main narrative piece (top left) is a humorous anecdote about a railroad president who rejoices upon learning his excellent servant is leaving—finally giving him "something to live for" by having an impossible standard to match. The joke satirizes the president's absurd priorities and vanity. Below that, "**Socialists, M.D.**" is a brief satirical commentary treating socialism as a disease. It argues socialists are useful as a cautionary example to patients but useless as actual doctors/leaders. The reference to Patrick Henry ("Give us liberty or give us death") positions anti-socialist sentiment as patriotic. **The bulk of the page is advertising**: rubber garments for weight reduction, Federal Tires (featuring a close-up tire photograph), and Olive Oil Grape capsules. These ads reflect 1920s consumer culture and health product marketing typical of *Life* magazine's revenue model. No specific historical figures are caricatured or identified beyond generic types (railroad president, socialist doctors).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
great railroad president, unable to re- strain himself, actually kicked up his heels in joy. Hastily summoning his wife, he joyfully imparted to her the glad news. “What does this mean?” she said wonderingly. ‘A moment ago—” “I know it!” he exclaimed. “ But all is now changed. Do you not understand? He was the finest serv- ant in the world. He is going! Now, my dear, don’t you|sce that I have something to live for, to look forward to? Think of how utterly hopeless it is for me to fill his place! Why everything in the world that I have accomplished is as nothing to this! I have an occupation lasting all the rest of my life, with a possible gam- Dler’s chance of succeeding.” His wife shook her head. “You will never succeed in filling his place,” she whispered. “He was too perfect a servant.” And at this moment the great rail- road president danced with renewed joy. “Then I shall live forever!” he ex- ‘ claimed, “T wisi I had taken my mother’s advice a when she begged me not to marry you.” “ Did your mother try to keep you from marrying me?” “Yes.” “Oh, how I have wronged that woman!"—Chicago Tribune. _ LIFE TODAY is doubly enjoyable for men and women alike they have no disagreeable, unsightly superflu health and enhance your appearance. And sure, safe, easy, hygienic way to rid yourself of | superfluous fat is with Dr. Jeanne ie Walter’s Rubber. Garments| By inducing pere- piration these gar- ments cause the safe and duction of ‘ail unnce- essary fiesh, They cover the entire body | orany part. They are en- | doreed by leading physi- “nUSsT REDUCER, $s Mate of Dee Water Walter toes Besh-reducing | talteck, The redacing qualities of th gurweetare Rasta, st the | | fine Une fr gives added com fort and style. ‘Abo Union ‘Salt, Stockin te snyeher ded Tevataa tuber Elastic Bust Reducer, $3 Made of dainty white robber webbin ) Gaeta reducing te fare tom 3 ted ches et oncte to patent! Protect your I fat. Reducing your fat means you improve yeas Y, Write for “ Needed Inventions Deve. 188, Wi uts ‘due to broken fabric the! rim, tube pinching, danger of tires slipping off ' OE ose gut and grind into the side-wall as does‘ the /ard-sharp-pointed bead- ler used: in other tires. Federal Tires’ are the only tires ade with double-cable-base con- struction. Experienced tire dealers and motorists say it is the greatest Step. ahead in “the history of the industry. Specify them. Straight wall and quick detachable clincher styles. All sizes for standard rims. Ragged and smooth treads. FEDERAL RUBBER MFG. CO. MILWAUKEE, WIS. Descriptive literature mailed on request. Branches, Service Stations and Distributors in all Principal Cities. Dealers Everywhere. Socialists, M. D. 'ONSIDERED as a disease the So- cialists are fairly. useful, since they induce caution in the patient. But as doctors, oh, my! Patrick Henry had LABOR MTC reer Lon PURIE, it right. Give us liberty or give us death! ane Iiplian POR DESK tiene a lee oe We never shall die of the Socialist disease, nor shall we ever entrust our | case without controlling reserves to i Oil* the Socialist doctors. To be called in consultation in some emergencies is the ({rap _P 24 for 2Sc.—100 for $1.00. Literature"tree upon application most they may hope for. BGokere aes OMAPE CAPSULE COME MONT IG KOO. SECON