Life — March 26, 1914 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| OOLISH PO rs A Big Deal A hustling promoter named Coe Was head of a big cocoa Co. A native named Koko Said, “ Pay what you owe, Coe, Or give me the Coe Cocoa Co.” He had other projects, had Coo— Coke ovens were one line, and so The two coalesced ; Imagine the rest: “Coe Koko Coke and Cocoa Co.” —Ladies’ Home Journal, | Comfort Without Extraragance, Hotel Woodstock, New York A New Jersey teacher who had been greatly annoyed by revelry in the hotel where she had spent part of her last vaca- tion, took the precaution this time, in writing to another hotel which had been tccommended to her, to inquire whether it had a bar. She received the following reply: “No, we haven't any bar, and if that is the sort of woman you are we don't want you. The place for you is at Yardley’s, farther up the road.” —Argonaut, Sliced Oranges with a dash of Abbott's Bitters are #p- fetising and beslehfel, Semple of ‘bitters, by mall, 25 cts, in stamps. C. W, Abbott Co., Baltimore, Md. ny persons were unable to se- cure from newsdealers copies of the issue of LIFE for March 5th (The Proper Number). The great demand for the number ex- hausted their supplies. It will be sent prepaid to any address on receipt of the price— ten cents—by Lire Puntisut ComPany 17 West 31st Street, New York City The esteemed Weather Bureau has sprung a new one. It is the word “smog”, and it means smoke and fog. The bureau explains that very frequently there are times when this mixture is apparent in the atmosphere, and it con- siders the new word a great little idea. Very well, “smog” let it be. But why end there? Let's call a mixture of snow and mud “smud”. A mixture of snow and soot “ snoot ", and a mixture of snow and hail “snail”. Thus we might have a weather forecast: “Snail to-day, turning to snoot to- night; to-morrow smoggy with smud.” —Kokomo Times. GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER SO cents per case of 6 glass stoppered bottles An Untouched Subject In L'Esprit des Francais is an instance of the sharp, biting wit for which Alexis Piron, the,.French epigrammatist, was famous, A young author whose ability was by no means.equal to his conceit was discoursing at length upon the merits of his work. “Tam tired of writing of that which others write of,” he said. “I want to create an original work, something that no one has ever written about or ever will write about.” Piron turned quickly to the speaker. “Why not write your own eulogy?” he said.—Youth’s Companion, Modem Warfare Generac: How long has the battle béen in progress? Aiwe: Five reels, sir. Generat: Then hasten under a flag of truce to the enemy and ask them to cease fighting until our moving-picture camera-men have had supper. A Happy Marriage Depends “Pi on a knowledge o} he whole correctly from ordinary, every-day sources. SEXOLOGY (Mustrated) iM. by William H. Walling, A.M. . imparts in a clear wholes a Taye. wuld Afave. rt to Tle Son. lave. Nedical Ruewletes a ¥ haven er Deventer. } st All in one velnaee,, WMustrated, ie postpaid. | Write for “Other Peoples Ops ue Table of Contents. Puritan Pub.Co. 776 Perry Bldg., Phila. Pa. Peddie Your Own Cance, Canoeing ia workmanship, finih and style, © Kennebec Canoe can't Lieiceee, sed. gite ey baie Welt tor booklet on the pleasure of paddling, sai motor boating: yaebec Canoe. ‘Kennebec Cance Co, t22 Chapit tervila Ma, Portfolio Photography What would you not give fora picture of yourson or daughter or some one equally dear toyou? De- ferred intentions often cause regrets. Photographic likenesses in the latest art portfolio mountings insuring permanent preservation are the specialty of Francisca Bostwick. Your time and convenience not intruded upon. Appointments for studio or home sittings by correspondence. Highest references.