Life, 1914-03-12 · page 32 of 44
Life — March 12, 1914 — page 32: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of Life's humor: **"The Fortunate Mr. V."** jokes about a theater magnate's ignorance—he envies "Vacium," thinking it's a person's name, when discussing a vacuum cleaner company. The satire mocks the businessman's lack of education despite his success. **"The Joy of Dancing Exercise"** is an advertisement disguised as editorial content, promoting Allen's Foot-Ease powder by claiming dancing has become a social necessity, thus driving shoe-powder sales. **Other comedic pieces** include jokes about college girls divorcing frequently, a rural constable who's actually an auto repairman, and a cleric correcting someone's biblical knowledge about Balaam's sword. The page is primarily **advertising**: Lea & Perrins sauce, Pebbleford bourbon, and other products are interspersed with humor. The "Egyptian Deities" image appears to be a film or theatrical advertisement rather than satire. Overall, the page reflects early 20th-century concerns about business, education, and modern social customs.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
OLISH CONTEMPORARIES The Fortunate Mr. V. There is a theatrical magnate in New York who is up on the needs of the tired business man, but a little bit shy on gen- cral education. In his office they were discussing the prevalent hard times— theatrical and otherwise. “Well,” he said, “there's one guy in town that I envy. He's busy all the I go I see people using his ma “Who's that?” inquired one of the company. “Why, this guy Vacium, that makes all them’ patent cleaners!" —Saturday Evening Post. Comfort Without Extraragance, Hotel Woodstock, New ¥ 2 = Pe + i ‘ = - 3 ae Cottecer girls do not marry as often y _ says a statistician, overlooking a ES or one eg geod the fact that they begin late, when the cine “finishing school” girl is perhaps two divorces and three marriages to the good. —Courier-Journal. —— readed THE JOY OF DANCING EXERCISE LaxptorD opto Hotel): That | Very few me ; . . feller who just swaggered past? Ob, ery few men or women seem to care to that’s Lem Badgeley, an’ he’s a terror to soft, rich whiskey ‘Tango or get Dancing Exercise unless they automobilists, I tell you! with pa tad are assured the freedom from aching feet Gurst: Aha! The village constable, ofanold einige that Allen's Foot-Ease, the antiseptic ch? Bottled Old fashioned dis. vowder to be shaken into the shoes, al- Lanpiokv: Worse; he’s the only auto i a aye gives. Since the tendency to hold repair man within ten miles—Crescent. in Bond ae ripened Dancing parties has become almost a daily} Wine Jelly when flavored with Abbott’s Bitters in made by a ly. fg F spore delightful and healthtal. Sample of (bitters by ‘mail, and hourly necessity in every community,| cents in stamps. C. W. + Baltimore, Md. the sale of Allen’s Foot-Ease, so the Drug- “ Ar this point,” said the narrator, “ she gists report, has reached the high-water broke down and wept scalding tears.’ mark. Sold Everywhere, 25c. Trial pack- “ My goodness!” exclaimed a listener. age FREE. Address Allen S. Olmsted, © must have been boiling over with Le Roy, N. Y. aie" —The Pash ander, Old Feyioned PTO TOT Quality The ENGLISH Officer at “Mess” Kentucky Bourbon where all the refinements of civil- ization find their place—the one CLEAR SPRING DISTILLING CO. condiment that takes precedence in DOURDON, NELSON COUNTY, KY. the “messing” of the modern Eng- lish soldier, whether Officer or fileman, is , Keen displaying a huge sword to a clerical- SAUCE looking collector. “Ever sce anything more interesting than that? That's THE ORIGINAL WORCESTERSHIRE Balaam's sword.” “But, my good man, that cannot be,” —as there is no substitute acceptable to said the dominic, “ Balaam never had a the gentlemen of the King’s commissions sword. He only wished for one.” *, . c3 “Quite right, sir,” said the dealer. Sold by Grocers in every clime “This is the one he wished for!” UOUCUUOIUUULLIUOGTOUQUUOUOTUGTASOUSUACOSUBONESUOCONSLEVOLUDSUASOINO0000 08001 MIM Tk —Chicago Journal. comicbooks.com