Life, 1914-03-12 · page 18 of 44
Life — March 12, 1914 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Life* magazine presents "A Guide to the Dramatists," a satirical guide mocking theater critics and playwrights' reputations circa the early 1900s. The cartoon shows a hippopotamus (Miss Hippo) conversing with a small man (Mr. Monk), making a joke about beauty being "only skin deep"—but sarcastically noting that even one-and-a-half inches of skin is more than some possess. The text that follows satirizes famous playwrights by offering cynical advice to amateur critics on how to discuss their work without genuine understanding. For example: praise Barrie as "whimsical," dismiss Bernstein as "theatrical" yet lacking "permanent value," and treat Ibsen cautiously since enthusiasm for him now marks one as "old fashioned." The satire targets both pretentious critics who repeat clichés and the playwrights themselves—suggesting their work is fashionable, formulaic, or overrated. It's essentially mocking the theater world's snobbery and the gap between critical praise and actual merit.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Miss Hippo: You FLaties ME, MR. MONK. BEAUTY, You KNOW, IS ONLY SKIN. DEED “BUT, MY DEAR LADY, NOT EVERYONE CAN BOAST OF BEAUTY INCH AND A HALF IN pert” A Guide to the Dramatists For tne Use or Amateur Critics J. M. Barriz.—The Scotchman who exploded the tra- dition that the men of his nation have no sense of humor. Do not laugh loudly at a Barrie play, but just smile gently. Remarks. —* How whimsical!” That is the one word which can be used to describe a Barrie comedy. Say it immediately the curtain falls or some other member of your party will make the comment first. and that will leave you without an opinion to express. Arxotp Bex setr—P! a sort of by ys are just one of his side fines, product. He works upon the rule that what won't do for a novel will do for an essay, and what won't do for an essay may serve for a drama Advice—He writes his plays so that they can be pub- lished, even though they may not be acted, Sometimes they seem better in a hook than on the stage. This fact may be borne in mind if you wish to be economical, as books are cheaper than theatre tickets. Henxt Bernstetx.—He finds a thrill and builds a drama around it. If the thrill does not work, the drama fails. Remarks.—Declare that you find him “ diverting though ‘LIP E* merely theatrical”, and then add “He has no permanent value”. That will be sufficient to prove you a very under- standing theatre-goer. Groce Broapuvurst.—A theatrical craftsman who may be counted upon to cut his plays according to the fashions of the hour. “To-day” is the motto for his work so that he can always be sure it will te “ Bought and Paid For.” Remarks~~* That's a good show. Where shall we go r supper? Georce M. Conay.—He discovered America and copy righted New York. He can make more melodies with fewer notes than any other man in the business, and when he wants a hero round whom to whirl a successful comedy, he never forgets himself, Af Suggestion.—Watch his plays carefully, and you will find many smart retorts that some day as original, n be passed off by you Joux Gatsworriy.—His dramas have proved beyond all chance of contradiction that the world is upside down, Init he has not yet suggested a plan for righting it again Caution.—Do not pretend to enjoy Galsworthy, Describe him as an “intellectual treat.” Henrik Instx.—In 1804 you could create the impression that you were very advanced merely by expressing an ad miration for Ibsen, but you must be careful in tory, To think too highly of him now will brand you as “old fash- ioned.” Remarks.~The saiest plan is to be non-committal. t debt of sratitude tu the author of ‘The Doll's House’, but——” Just say, “Oh, the modern drama owes a gre Henry Axrior Jones.—He has made a specialty of de- picting modern society as it isn't. To him we owe the larg- est collection in existence of stage characters who are just unpleasant Caution.—Do not wax too enthusiastic over a new Jones play, but whisper sadly, “ He will never equal ‘Mrs, Dane's Defence ’.” a Louis Parker.— All he needs is a picce of scenery, two or three costumes and a date, either B.C. or A. D., and he will turn out a drama to fit them, His f and successes tumble over one another. Famous men are his specialty. He resurrected Drake; he made it possible for Benjamin Disraeli to visit America, and introduced Joseph to a city that could appreciate his manipulation of the world’s visible grain supply lures: Artaur Wixc Pinero.—He writes great plays that do not draw, but wins fame with his poorer efforts. He de- lights in subjects which may be called “strong”, but he manages to escape the censor, Remarks—At a Pincro play, comment on the perfection of the construction, but go on to say that the “ dénoucment ” docs not seem “sincere”. That will prove you an authority on this dramatist. Writtast Suakesreane.—He stands as the Master. If