Life — February 19, 1914 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Sago Fatomuto make knock-knock with hammer” ico must have a President—otherwisely she would be an uncivilized country like Sweden. Question before Japanese Thinking Society is: Who shall we elect for this unsteady office?” “Wm Jenny Bryan!” eject S. Furo, Japanese grocer, “He understand, Mexican dollars and John Lind.” “Hon. Bryan are too busy to give his entire attention to such jobs,” I say so. “ We must think up some more serious patriot.” “T denominate Hon. Jo Uncle Can- non!” decry J. Haro, Japanese photog- rapher. “He is very skillful at killing Insurgents and can lose a throne with- out peev.” “ My ticket—Hon, J. Hamlet Lewis!” revoke Cousin Nogi with considerable militancy. “Who can appoint ambas- sadors. more suddenly or withdraw them wth less bruising?” “Hon. Saml Gompers!” some Jap- anese School-boys bump forth, while Andrew Carnegie nomination were heard with quarrelsome noise peculiar to Peace Societies. Still others start hu Root stampede, mentioning brains while breaking chairs. Great bloodshed would have been enjoyed if Hon. Sago Fatomuto did not make knock-knock for order. “Silences!" he holla noisly. “ Such “EDIGESES: behavior are unfit for saloons or other Republican conventions. With so many Presidents in the field you would start more revolutions than customary in Mexico. With a few more of such hilism you would have Bryanistas and Carnegistas depopulating each other all over Torreon while Gen. Huerta sat, as usual, in Capitol borrow- ing money from Lord Cowdrey. No! After how you acted I shall not permit Mexico to have a President.” “What shall it do, then?” require all Japanese Thinkers together like chorus girls. “When Mexico are properly inter- vened, then we shall obtain for her most fashionable government possible,” say Hon. Chair. “ We shall rule her by a Business Manager. All Japanese Thinkers turn their eyebrows in gen. direction of South American jungle. “South America are too far for such searchings,” refine Hon, Fatomuto. “ Therefore I appoint Hashimura Togo go Dayton, Ohio, and see what can be obtained for 1,000$ monthly and com- missions,” So I depart Westly feeling quite punctured. Hoping you are the same Yours truly Hasuimura Toco. (Per Wallace Ir: Work For Dr. Shaw EV, DR. ANNA SHAW was re- ported to have said that she would not pay, her income tax. It looked as though she had not read the passage about rendering unto Czxsar what is his, y But she says that was all a mistake : that she will pay her income tax if the government says she owes it, and that she is dead against militancy and thinks nothing is to be gained by it for any good cause. So, perhaps, after all, the reverend lady has looked into the text-book of her profession. She ought to start a Bible class for Mrs. Belmont, Mrs. Medill-McCormick and ex-Miss Mil- holland. SSUME a complexion if you have it not. 307 That Delaware Luxury YONE who is good at figures could undoubtedly present a very formidable estimate of what it costs us all for the joy of having a little strip of land along the Delaware River set apart as a separate state. Every additional state we have adds to the expense of the Federal Govern- ment, to say nothing of increasing the labor and expense of statistical tables. Five million dollars would be low for Delaware in this regard. And course, only a small proportion of this is taxed against the people of Dela- ware, who, no doubt, cherish this privilege more dearly than any of the rest of us. If they had to pay it all themselves, the average per voter would be about $125 a year. Before we make any final move to get rid of Delaware, we might put it squarely up to them. If they are willing to pay the piper, we might be willing to let them go on dancing. Interior Epigram VERY little stomach has a meaning all its own. x aE SOME PROPLE HATE TO BE TRUTH TOLD THE comicbooks.com