Life — February 5, 1914 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“ARE: Hysteria? Never! RS. BARCLAY HAZARD, head, of the New York branch of the Na- tional Florence Crittendon Association, has been saying some dreadful things about women, Speaking recently of the hysteria which appears to have developed among ladies with regard to the white slave and other sex subjects, Mrs. Hazard says: “Women go around talking of things of which they know absolutely nothing, and do a great deal of harm. They are senti- mental about it; they give a wrong point of view.” This will be news to many. That Ameri- can women should ever be accused of talking about things of which they know nothing—and by one of them—this is shocking! That it should ever be said of them that they are hys- terical, and work themselves up into an emotional frenzy— this is too, too much. There is, however, one consolation. We cannot imagine anyone who knows American women ever believing such a thing. Lagging Behind “The exact thought of the sacred writers is given in readily understandable language in this version, thereby making its sacred teachings not only clearer to the young folks, but infinitely more interesting. Every reading makes more Bible students.” —From an Advertisement. AR be it from us to say anything against the practice of re-writing the Bible in order to supply modern needs. The fact that it is good business is quite enough to commend it to the majority. It seems too bad, however, that the Bible should be written by writers so comparatively un- important that it does not even seem necessary er, to advertise their names. The fact that it is the aa best reading in the world already should not make any difference. The right modern version of the Bible should be turned over to some of the authors of our best sellers. The Bible ought to be re-written for the great American public by such men as Harold McGrath, Hall Caine, George Barr McCutcheon, Winston Churchill, Irving Bacheller and Ir- win Cobb. If churches employ brass bands and vaudeville performers to attract their congregations, why is it not just as important that they should have the Bible dressed up for the same purpose? We are quite sure that a new version of Revelations, as adapted for younger readers by George Ade, would, as the book reviewers say, not only be “compelling,” but “epoch making” and have a wonder- ful “appeal.” Another Epoch Making Discovery Reese Dr. E. Tinden Mellus, who is one of the chief medical experimenters of the Johns Hopkins school, removed all the blood from a dog’s body and then put it back again. Unfortunately, the dog, who was se- curely strapped down during the operation, died, but this, as the doctor explained, was incidental. Everybody who has anything the matter with his blood will rejoice at this latest discovery of medical science. If you come home late at night, and want to get a goad night’s rest, you can remove your circulation into tubes, and hanging them up in a wardrobe, sleep a dreamless sleep. Be sure and lock up the wardrobe before you jump into bed, as some careless servant might hang your circula- tion ‘on the line in the cold night air, and chill it beyond the safety point. This invention will do away with cold feet, To some ignorant people, it may seem that cold feet are the result of a lack of blood, but all things are relative. Remove the blood from everywhere else, and the feet will then be the same temperature as the rest of the body. Hence they will not know that they are cold. But this is not all. It must be remembered that you can, if you like, substitute any other fluid in place of your cir- culation. Dr. Mellus used a saline solution. You can use claret, if you like, and by restoring the circulation the fol- lowing morning, have no bad effects. Before putting your circulation back, be sure and go over it carefully with a whiskbroom. A dustless circula- tion is so much more comfortable. “LOST BOTH HIS FORTUNE AND HIS REASON IN A PUBLISH- 5 VENTURE, YOU SAY?” YES—TRIED TO GET OUT A BOOK CALLED ‘WHO'S WHO IN MEXICO", comicbooks.com