Life, 1913-12-25 · page 17 of 41
Life — December 25, 1913 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes Christmas shopping habits and labor conditions. The top cartoons humorously reference historical figures (Phidippides, Diogenes, Homer, Caesar) who "procrastinated," establishing a mock-serious tone. The main content attacks the "Put-It-Off Association"—a fictional organization promoting last-minute Christmas shopping. The satire targets procrastinators' selfishness: their five-point "creed" explicitly prioritizes personal convenience over retail workers' wellbeing, calling labor-friendly shopping practices "dangerously socialistic." The piece mocks how procrastinators rationalize their behavior as defending "human liberty" and "independence," while actually creating deliberate chaos and exhaustion for sales clerks and delivery workers during the final pre-Christmas rush. The final joke about Wall Street brokers attending funerals reflects broader economic anxiety during this period. The satire advocates for *early* Christmas shopping as a form of worker consideration—a progressive position for the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PHIDIPPIDES IN THE ORIGINAL MARATHON "7 j Caesar: HELLO! Is THIS ROME? WELL, VENI, VIDI, Vici! One on the Kaiser BERLIN newspaper quotes the Kaiser as saying: “A real man wears a moustache.” But how about the man from whom the Kaiser gets his titles Julius Caesar didn’t. “VEE Whatot Ayla A, Are You a Pio? HE Put-It-Off Association of America (often spoken of as the Pios) has been formed in response to a widespread demand. There are a great many people who believe that Christmas shopping should not be done until the very last minute. By the propaganda of the new socicty it is hoped to increase this number until the stores, during the last two or three days before Christmas, have been turned into such terrible, nerve-rack- ing crushes as to make them ideally unbearable. All those who feel the same way and are willing to subscribe to the following creed will please send in their names at once. 1. I believe that the effort of the Consumers’ League and others to force the people to do their Christmas shopping early is an unwarranted in- terference with human liberty and an attempt to undermine the founda- tions of democratic principles. 2. I believe the salesgirls, delivery men and other employes engaged in the sale and distribution of Christ- mas goods are entitled to no con- sideration whatsoever and any at- tempt to put their interest above that of the thoughtless public should be Have Helped Ancient Celebrities! HOMER STARTS THE ILIAD promptly denounced as dangerously socialistic. 3. I believe it is my right to do my shopping any time I please, to go to the stores when the nerves of the clerks have most nearly reached the breaking point and to be peevish and insolent in my manner if the atten- tion I receive is not prompt, courteous and undivided. 4. I believe that the time to do Christmas shopping is when every- body else is doing his, her or its Christmas shopping, and consequently I call upon all true and loyal pro- crastinators to “ Put it off” until the very last minute, for only thus can we show our full strength and our bound- less independence. 5. I believe that the Christmas festivities should be made as unpleas- ant as possible for everybody, includ- ing myself, and therefore I am anxious to become a member, and work for the success of the Put-It-Off Associa- tion of America. F! ST WALL STREET BROKER: Anything to do to-day? Seconp WALL Street Broker: tainly not. “Come to a funcral with me. It will cheer you up a bit.” Cer-