Life, 1913-12-18 · page 26 of 40
Life — December 18, 1913 — page 26: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes early 20th-century concerns about declining birth rates through an allegorical courtroom drama. "Birth-rate" is prosecuted as a criminal defendant who has "fallen"—a metaphor for the declining number of births, particularly among educated middle and upper-class women. The witnesses personify social forces blamed for this decline: **Mars** (war, which removes men), **Madam Eugenics** (the eugenics movement, which discouraged "unfit" reproduction), **the Cost of Living** (economic hardship), and **Feminism** (women's liberation and rejection of traditional roles). The satire's point: society blames these external forces rather than acknowledging birth-rate decline as inevitable consequence of modernization. The judge's lenient sentence—asking birth-rate merely to "fall any more than you can help"—underscores the futility of resistance. The top cartoon about "Miss Eugenic Hygiene" reinforces the era's obsession with scientific approaches to reproduction and heredity.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
RN WAKER, UNDER THE MISTLETOE Miss Eugenic Hygiene: KISS MY PHOTOGRAPH, JACK, BEEN THOROUGHLY STERILIZED, you MAY IT HAS A Famous Case T was a great international session. Judge Destiny presided. The prisoner, closely guarded, was brought forward. “Your name, prisoner?” “My name is Birth-rate.” There was a low murmur in the court room. No one had ever seen a genuine birth-rate before. The fact that sociologists had been writing about it so long led to the belief that it had no real existence. The judge rapped for order. “What is the charge against the prisoner?” “ She has fallen.” “Prisoner, why have you fallen? Have you anything to say in your de- fense?” asked the judge. “Only that it is not my fault, your Honor. No one appears to be willing to support me in the style to which I have been accustomed.” “Aren't. you ashamed of self?” your- SEER E * The prisoner was defiant. “No, your Honor, I am rather proud of myself. Who would not have fallen if they had been treated as badly as I have been?" The first witness was called. “ Witness, your name?” “ Mars.” “ Have you conspired to aid and abet the defendant here to fall?” “Sure. Why not? If I were not at her all the time she’d become unbear- able. She'd be like the old woman in the shoe.” Madam Eugenics was the second witness. “Well, madam, what have you to say for yourself? I understand that you have been doing things to the prisoner.” “Yes, your Honor. I have helped her to fall as a matter of duty. The trouble with her is that she never knew how to discriminate. She seems to realize anything, even by constant prac- tice.” never The Cost of Living was the next wit- ness. The judge frowned. o you are here, are you? You're an old offender. This is not the first time you have appeared. What have you been doing to the Birth-rate?” “Nothing more than usual, your Honor. We have always been enemies, only this time you see I have got the goods on her.” “No slang, sir. This is not a college literary society. Any more nesses?” After a somewhat lengthy delay an- other person, whose sex it was difficult to determine, stepped forward. “Your nam “ Feminism.” “What are you, a man or woman?” “T have not the slightest idea.” “Have you been conspiring against the prisoner?” “Tut, tut! your Honor. I have only been ignoring her. She is a back num- ber so far as I am concerned. She has no high ideals.” The judge again rapped for order. He turned to the prisoner: wit- “ Prisoner, stand up and receive your sentence, We cannot possibly get along without Mars, Eugenics, the High Cost of Living or Feminism. It would not do to offend these witnesses, espe- cially in our present period of civic freedom, and as they have all testified that they and not you are to blame, you are hereby discharged from cus- tody.” (Faint cheers from the spec- tators.) The judge proceeded: “With the request that you won't fall any more than you can help.” RECORD RUNS ROUND THE WORLD IN ONE NIGHT comichooks.com