Life — December 11, 1913 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

He Knew His Business BRISK individual with the ac- A cumulated look of twenty win- ters of married life entered a hard- ware shop, and without waiting for preliminaries asked: . “Do you keep hammers here? “That is our specialty, sir.” “Put me down for a dozen. How about screw-drivers?” “Our great feature. Patent revers- ible or plain edge?” “Give me a dozen of each; if you have any other varieties I'll take ‘em, too, How about gimlets?” “You are now mentioning our pet product. All. styles.” “Give .me all styles—long, short, medium, thick, thin, from the size of a needle to.a pickaxe. Saws?” “Of every description.” “T'll take *em—say half a dozen or so—cross-cut, plain, round = and square.” “Tr's down, sir, Can I interest you in nails?” “You can indeed. I'll take some of all that you have, put up in separate packages; also tacks, brads, screws, rivets, staples—everything. And I want hooks, every hook you have, big and little. Also—" The clerk leaned forward. “Pardon me, sir,” he said. “ You seem like a sensible person. Unless you are opening up a business, Tam ata loss to understand your requirements. “It is perfectly simple, sir,” said the brisk person. “I have been married for twenty-one s, and not once since the ceremony have I been able to locate a single implement, when I wanted to put up a calendar or do any other necessary thing about the house, and the next time there is need of any- thing done, I am going, so far as hu- man foresight can provide for it, to have the means instantly to put my im- pulse into play.” A Happy Marriage Depends largely on knowledge of the who! truth about self and sex and their relation to life and health. This know! edge does not come in. telligently of itself, nor correctly from ordinary, every-day sources. SEXOLOGY BE Ss These great artists come to your home Christmas with the Victrola You can search the whole world over and not find another gift that will bring so much pleasure to every member of the family. Any Victor dealer in any city in the world will gladly play any music you wish to hear and demonstrate to you the wonderful Victor-Victrola. : Victors $10 to $100. Victrolas $15 to $200. Victor Talking Machine Co., Camden, N.J., U.S.A. Berliner Gramophone Co,, Montreal, Canadiaa Distributors, New Victor Records demonstrated at all dealers on the 28th of each month | TSS x anywhere else it pleased his sagacious canine majesty. He claims the same privilege now with the widowed queen. Late pictures of Queen Maud of Nor- Dogs and Cats in Queens’ Palaces Princess Mary has a great fondness for (Mustrated) iam H. Walling, A.M., M.D., imparts in a clear cats and has dozens of them about all the : ng olesome way in one volume time, But when her mother, the queen, way are taken with her pet terrier in her Knowtedgo a Young Man Shontd Have, stumbled ove: © o the ‘ i miedo a a Mt Tne ve. stumbled over a cat and nearly fell to the royal arms, Wilhelmina of Holland and 4 c. floor, she ordered the number lessened her idolized little daughter are photo- ge a Father Shi t Son. Medical Raowledge a Hi Queen Alexandra loves cats and dogs. graphed with their pet dogs. Edward never went anywhere without —Our Dumb Animals. Cxsar, an Airedale terrier, even taking — him to formal dinners where he sat at the Axistotie, being asked what gain was king's feet and demanded a sample of got by lying, replied, “ The never being every course served. He slept in the Lelieved when one tells the truth.” king’s room at the foot of the bed, or Diogenes Laertius, Ksawledge a Mother Should Impart to Her Daughter, Pieiical Knowledge a Wite Should Iave, ‘a Allin one volume. Illustrated, $2, postpaid. Write for“ Other People's Opinions” anit Table of Contents Puritan Pub. Co. 776 Perry Bldg., Phila., Pa.