Life — December 4, 1913 — page 78: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TAKE ALIFE « dete The Wail of the Well An Important Point Johnny Jones has lost a leg, Travel invariably adds charm to the Fanny's deaf and dumb, conversation of an agreeable person, but Marie has epileptic fits, sometimes renders a bore more tiresome Tom's eyes are on the bum. than ever. Sadie stutters when she talks, “And I stood there, Aunt Bessie,” Mabel has T. B., said the old lady's slow-speaking but Morris is a splendid case of imbecility. long-winded nephew, who had been talk Billy Brown’s a truant, ing on incessantly for the past two hours + about his summer in Switzerland, until the old lady's cyes began to droop in the lamplight—"and there I stood, Aunt Bessie, with the abyss yawning in front of me.” “Francis,” said Aunt Bessie, speaking as one who has kept long silence, “ was Goes to a special school. that abyss a-yawning before you got They've specially nice teachers, there, or did it begin to yawn after- And special things to wear, ward ? ""—Lippincott's. And special time to play in, And a special kind of air; Advertising Pays They've special lunches, right in school, “Does advertising pay? I lost a five- While I—it makes me wild! dollar bill on the street.” T haven't any specialties, Well?” COME RIGHT AWAY I'm just a normal child. I advertised, and so far I have re- FROM THERE THIS INSTANT, YOU OLD REP- May Ayres, in The American ceived three five-dollar bills.” ROBATE; THE IDEA OF YOUR HANGING School Board Journal. . —Pittsburgh Post. AROUND ANY SUCH EXHIBIT AS THAT! And Harold is a thief, Teddy's parents gave him dope And so he came to grief. Gwendolin’s a millionaire, Jerald is a fool, So every one of these darned kids Lire is published every Thur vnited States, Great Canada and British y be obtained from booksetiers In. all the prian Fomestoss, $5.00 a year In ada vi ries in the Salon, $1.0 a yeart 'S London Offer, Cannon House, Breams Becroot 2 Cents.” Single corrent copies. 10 cents. hack numbers, after three months Thsses prior 0.1910 * For Reprint Rights in Great Britain sppy to ing, Ap contribution will Se returned unless and addrerted envelope, contributions, From ‘0 to '1913 In _ Transportation The wise men (Year 0" A. D.) followed the Star in the East on their patient camels --- the wise man of today, eager in his Yuletide home-coming, is sped on his way by giant steeds of steel. @None are more typical of up-to-date transportation than the great locomotives and palatial trains of the 2 Northern Pacific Railway 2 Route of the famous “Great Big Baked Potato” TWO DAILY TRAINS THREE DAILY TRAINS ONE DAILY TRAIN From Chicago. One via Milwaukee From St. Paul, Minneapolis From St. Louis and Kansas City Wisconsin Duluth and Superior Missouri To (and from) the North Pacific Coast and intermediate territory. Two daily trains between St. Paul, Minneapolis and Winnipeg; three between St. Paul, Minneapolis, Duluth and Superior. Write for beautifully illustrated literature about Northern Paciac service and country. @Enclose 6 cents for Yellowstone Park view album and plan to spend 1914 vacation in America’s Only Geyserland. A. M. CLELAND, General Passenger Agent, ST. PAUL, MINN. Westward the Star of Empire Takes Its Way”