Life, 1913-10-30 · page 8 of 40
Life — October 30, 1913 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct pieces: **"Sunday" Editorial (top right):** A satirical commentary on weekend fatalities. The text cites statistics showing more people die on Sundays than other weekdays—173 killed and 50 injured near New York in one summer. The piece argues that Sunday's shift from "rest to restlessness" and the "great God Speed" of carnival activities makes it dangerously chaotic. It's a social critique of modern leisure culture, suggesting that suppressing "homicidal activities" on Sundays would be society's "worst offender." **"A Straight Tip to Albius" (poem, center-left):** A classical-style poem addressing someone named Albius about romantic disappointment, referencing Horace. The illustration shows two figures by a river (likely the Hudson, given the Albany reference visible in the map). **Bottom photograph:** Captioned "Say, Mother, my toothache's all gone. Let's go home"—a domestic scene with darkly humorous implications about dentistry or medical mishaps.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
~ ong Se rtbsipntee — Us. tab THE EMPIRE STATE A Straight Tip to Albius “ Albi, ne doleas . . « TOP being peeved about that skirt; Cut out those maudlin songs— and hurry! What if she is a heartless flirt— You should worry! You know that little low-brow dame Lycoris—well, her eyes still glisten Only for Cyrus Whatsisname— And he—well, listen... Cyrus, the unresponsive brute, To Pholoe turns all his wooing ; But she—she doesn't give a hoot; There’s nothing doing. She tells him, with a tilted nose, Together goats and wolves will revel Before she'll love him. . . .So it goes: It beats the devil. Yes, so it goes. Why, look at me. Once I was more than happy, sow- ing Wild oats with Mam'selle Myrtale ; She had me going. Horace, Book 1, Ode 33. And all the while a sweller miss Pined for me. . . . Eh, I should regret it? No, Albius, in a case like this, Old top, forget it. Lonis Untermeyer. Sunday ACCORDING to the figures recently published in the daily papers, more people are killed on Sunday than any other day. This is the one day in the week when they can take the time to get killed. They are so busy on the other days that they don’t get around to it. According to the Times, last summer there were one hundred and seventy-three killed and two hun- dred and fifty injured on Sundays, near New York. Sunday has developed from a day of rest to a day of restlessness. On Sun- day the great God Speed holds high carnival. The churches are almost too slow to keep up with the pace set. Nothing exceeds like Sunday. Some wholesome way of suppressing its homicidal activities ought to be in- vented. If it could only be arrested and locked up. It is our worst of- fender. And how good it used to be! Rules for Amateur Politicians EVER lose your temper. Write no letters. Don't consult your wife. Ride on the water wagon. Keep your mouth shut. Issue no statements. Never deny anything in the papers. Be nice to other men’s wives, But not too nice. MOTHER, MY TOOTHACHE’S ALL GONE. LET'S GO HOME.” comicbooks.com