Life, 1913-10-23 · page 26 of 40
Life — October 23, 1913 — page 26: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The page contains three distinct satirical pieces: **"An Interview"** depicts a fictional artificial limb manufacturer returning from the Balkans, gleefully profiting from war casualties. The satire mocks war profiteers and cynicism: Mr. Paine celebrates the Balkan conflict as excellent for business, dismisses peace advocates as "foolish," and advocates military intervention in Mexico for profit. This criticizes capitalists who benefit from human suffering and violence. **"Wells"** is a humorous essay mocking how modern plumbing and luxury have "undermined national character." It nostalgically contrasts old-fashioned well-drawing with contemporary bathtubs and phonographs, suggesting comfort weakens virtue—a common early-20th-century social anxiety. **The cartoon above** shows a couple reading Life magazine, with the joke that the reader is "sensible" because he reads *Life*—self-promotional mockery of the magazine itself. The overall page satirizes greed, militarism, and industrial excess while poking fun at nostalgia for simpler times.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“THERE'S A SENSIBLE PERSON.” “wo?” “THE READER.” “How so?” “DON'T YOU SEE HE IS READING LIFE?” Wells ELLS are not so frequent as they used to be. At one time you could get typhoid from almost every well; now you rely almost entirely upon your doctor. There was a time when, in the early winter mornings, carefully screened from prying neighbors by a sun um- brella, you could saunter blithely out, and, nimbly breaking the ice in the well, you could lower yourself into the water and take your morning plunge to the gentle lowing of your sympathetic cow. Now you do all this in a bath- tub, to the tune of a phonograph. Thus we see that luxury is gradually undermining the national character. An artesian well is a hole in the ground bored by a plumber at your request and expense. When the hole is ready you are then visited by all the pump men in the country, for whom you have become the center of attrac- tion, Finally selecting from among them the pump which costs the most and pumps the least, you affix it to a patent windmill, and spend the rest of your convalescence from the pump men in praying for wind. Wells are used to hold germs, water, moss-covered buckets, truth and converts for baptism. An Interview R. STOCKSON PAINE, President of the Ar- tificial Limb Trust, returned on the Frantic yesterday from an extended visit through South- eastern Europe. Mr. Paine seemed to be in the best of health and spirits, and, as he walked proudly down the gangplank, he said to the assembled reporters: “ Business conditions haven't been so good in a long time. The Balkan war has been a fine thing in every way. It just came in the nick of time to save us from a bad business slump. When I left Bulgaria, where I saw many beautiful battlefields strewn with crippled and maimed, it looked as if an active market for our products would continue for some time. Many foolish people are crying, ‘peace, peace’, but I rather think that wiser counsel will prevail.” Mr. Paine also said he thought Presi- dent Wilson's attitude toward Mexico very “We ought to send troops into 0 and keep up the fight at all hazards,” said Mr. Paine emphatically, AFTER SEVEN MISSES Wife of His Bosom: SHALL 1 READ TO YOU WHILE YOU DO THAT, DEARIE? comicbooks.com HAN SEH LEM pear esr recta: Be aerer Ts permet ees sernee, pres sem in tus erm psc cece