Life, 1913-10-09 · page 3 of 44
Life — October 9, 1913 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page combines literary and commercial content from *Life* magazine. The left side features "Zone Policeman 88," a rhymed review by Harry A. Franck mocking an incompetent detective who fails to solve crimes—likely satirizing ineffectual law enforcement of the era. The dominant right side advertises Victor Records' Caruso recordings, featuring tenor Enrico Caruso in operatic costume. The ad claims the recordings authentically capture Caruso's voice and personality, asserting that listening at home equals hearing him perform at the Metropolitan Opera House. The bottom includes poetry by Arthur Guiterman continuing the detective satire theme, criticizing government inefficiency and "socialistic" approaches. The page juxtaposes satirical critique of institutional failure with commercialism—selling cultural prestige through recorded sound technology.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Rhymed Reviews Caruso Zone Policeman 88 | a as Rhadames in Aida (By Harry A. Franck. The Century Co.) \WHEN Homer twanged his bloomin’ lyre He never sang such fruitless jiggings As those of Harry Franck, Esquire, Across our Panamanian diggings. While doubtless an efficient sleuth, And not afflicted with strabismus, He didn’t cut, to tell the truth, A mighty swath along the Isthmus. The motley culprits—Spaniard, Greek And Portuguese—in vain he sought them, The Fighting Blacks of Martinique He tracked and trailed, but never Hl vi Recon ictor Recor caught them. Hy of "Celeste Aida” sung by Caruso Did someone rob a worker's bank ad Of sundry dollars uninvested, _ ‘Twas, “Call Policeman Harry se 1 Both $0 And no one ever got arrested. ; The Victor Record of Caruso’s voice is 1. donot: penithess ‘words’ to:shrow just as truly Caruso as Caruso himself. A cloud upon the writer's glory. . ; But just to let the reader know It actually zs Caruso—his own mag- That this is no detective story. ] nificent voice, with all the wonderful But one that tells in lively style power and beauty of tone that make him About the people, things and no- the greatest of all tenors: tions 5 . Encountered by the author while Ev erysOne of the hundred and three Policing ‘twixt the sundered oceans, | Caruso records brings you not only his = — | art, but his personality. When you hear rod 3 a | Caruso on the Victrola in your own home, u you hear him just as truly as if you were W |] listening to him in the Metropolitan Opera House. The proof ,is in the hearing. Any Victor dealer in any city in the world will gladly play for you it y Victor Records by Caruso or any 'HERE'S many a man who i other of the world’s greatest . ° artists. has built a rare reputation Various styles of Victors and Vietrolas $10 to $500. as a mixologist who lets us do | Victor Talking Machine Co., Camden, N. J., U.S. A, his mixing for him and keeps a) Berliner Gratsophone Co., Moctreal, Canadian Distritaicrs. his sideboard stocked with Club Cocktails. Made from better materials than a bar cocktail is apt to be. Mixed to messatei—pot to guess work—as a cocktail always is Softened by aging before tling—as no bar cock- . * tail can be., us, ing, Our hero pictures those he met He growls that socialistic meals When helping take the zonal census. In due variety are lacking. Still, tales of crime without regret For while prodigious frauds and steals We miss, because, to recompense Thrive not with Governmental back- AtAll He likewise ventures to portray Which comment urges one to state In terms not wholly eulogistic, The deep conviction, full and formal, The Government's paternal sway, That Zone Policeman 88, Described by him as socialistic. , If not a sage, is fairly normal. Arthur Guiterman, comicbooks.com