Life — September 4, 1913 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The New Comer HE States met and talked it over. Each one had some kind of a grievance. “I think I. might manage pretty well,” said New Jersey, “if I wasn’t troubled so by governors. They are all over me! I can’t go anywhere that they don’t get in my way. Why, if this keeps on I'll have more candidates for governor than people.” “TI wish that was all there was the matter with me,” sighed Massachusetts. “Dear, dear! You ought to have a few highbrows to keep you awake nights!" “ Pooh!” said Alabama, fanning her- self languidly. “You people don’t know what it is to be in trouble. If you had all the illiterate children I have to look out for, then you might be uneasy, Why, it’s all they can do to support me in half idleness.” “You ought to have a few of my poets and long-haired geniuses,” laughed Indiana, “if you really want to enjoy yourself. I'm so passionately pedantic that I actually hate to be alone with myself.” : —— “Well!” exclaimed Ohio, “I did , aes . | SBS Sam Underground Garbage Receiver think my new constitution® would give i "awe NO FLIES. NO LITTER. NO ODORS. Clean and sanitary. Sold direct me some peace. But I don’t know. The rest of you are fortunate com- pared with me. If you really want to suffer, try wearing a constitution 0 tons. 64 that doesn’t quite fit.”. This made Wis- eciuding shore, consin smile. Constitutions are nothing,” said Wisconsin, “Wait until you are sick The most impor- in bed with the new law-making fever, . as I am. Why, I can't sleep nights. tant autobio- And the worst of it is there’s no end gtaphical contri- to the disease! It’s chronic.” : . This made California actually titter. ’ o. ee DS . “T can’t say all I might,” she whis- luincey s Won- Motor Now in Safety || ered, “because you know I am a real fessions of af Buy a neat, compact Autowline and lady now. But, oh my! just get a dose Osiam Eates.” be ready to tow or be towed when road trouble of woman suffrage, and see how you plum Eater. comes. It’s 25 ft. of finest flexible steel rope. i : ; Weighs only 5 pounds but can pull a 4000 pound i ; a wine say oe "t car up a 20% ‘grade. Autowline has stood every AAU VE) WY, My Gear ot Eenes) John Barle corn Severe touring test for years. it isn't initiative all the time, it’s recall. BASLINE AUTOWLINE So there you are!” . . Made of Wai Fane Talow Sirad Wie Rove Kansas could keep still no longer. First and foremost a powerful, grip- sete bg Ealine Attowhoe “What is the use of you people ping story—Jack London's own sivers chen, always ready. talking,” she said.“ Why, I've got story of what life has brought him For sale at any good Supply Dealer's-$3.75 practically all of the things you are —of his experiences with alcohol, FREE fcciica Sem complaining about and a good deal d nope pegekormr more. Laws, governors, women—and as newsboy, sailor, miner, wanderer Broderick & Bascom Rope Co. || cranks! Wait until you have raised all in many lands, winner of fame and gaemeienent® Set tie | the cranks I have. Then you will fortune and happiness. TAL tid: aoraent therevasiateommo® It is also a presentation of the liquor tion as a large, fat, vulgar state en- question from the human, personal Double Brain Power tered. Her ample bosom was covered nde. “1 used to break down regularly every month and had to take foes . enforced holldaye. Sines feeding sclentifeally,1 am strong and with diamonds, and her face was cov- iste isu tok sce ectiiboes We Dawn, “Pile F150 prevented by snine from ndigcatble fonds ato, Satter, ered with paint. She carried a bottle inet, postage 12 cents on For sale by all booksellers. Published by and tabling: braley scods {lesa of wine in one hand and a bunch of franchises in the other. “Now girls,” she said, in a large The Century Co. UNION 86 UARE O°, Barsaven, Food Expert, Dept. 22-4, Washington, D.C. comicbooks.com